Human flight is miraculous.
Think about it.
For most of human history, traveling across the country required horses, wagons, ships, questionable drinking water, and a very real possibility that you’d simply disappear somewhere around Nebraska.
Today, you can wake up in Colorado, climb aboard an aluminum tube with wings, complain that the Wi-Fi sucks, eat seven pretzels, and be standing beside the Pacific Ocean before dinner.
We’ve somehow turned one of humanity’s greatest technological achievements into:
“Jesus Christ, they’ve changed our gate again.”
Welcome to our Airline Reviews, where we look at the companies entrusted with getting you, your luggage, and whatever dignity you have remaining from Point A to Point B.
Sometimes everything works beautifully.
Sometimes your vacation begins with a complimentary tour of Concourse C.
Either way, we’re writing it down.
Airline Reviews for People Who Actually Fly Economy
There’s something suspicious about airline reviews written exclusively by people drinking champagne in lie-flat seats.
Sure, we’d like to know whether First Class comes with hand-stitched slippers and a flight attendant named Sebastian who gently awakens you over Paris.
But most of us are farther back.
Much farther back.
We’re sitting in Row 38 wondering whether our backpack technically qualifies as a personal item and negotiating ownership of an armrest with a stranger from Cleveland.
That’s where our airline reviews live.
Not just:
“How luxurious was the experience?”
But:
“Did the damn thing work?”
Did booking make sense?
Was check-in painless?
Did the flight leave reasonably close to when everybody agreed it would?
Was the seat tolerable?
Did the crew treat passengers like human beings?
Did our luggage arrive in the same state?
And when something went sideways, did the airline actually help?
Because almost any airline looks competent when everything goes according to plan.
The interesting part begins when it doesn’t.
The Great American Airport Experience
Airports are fascinating places.
They’re enormous logistical machines designed to transport millions of people around the planet while simultaneously ensuring nobody knows where Gate B16 is.
You arrive two hours early because you’ve been told to arrive two hours early.
Then you spend twenty minutes checking in, thirty minutes getting through security, and ninety minutes sitting beside an electrical outlet guarding your phone charger like a medieval peasant defending his last potato.
Then the screen changes.
DELAYED
Wonderful.
Twenty minutes becomes forty-five.
Forty-five becomes two hours.
The gate changes.
Then it changes back.
Eventually an announcement crackles over the speaker that nobody can understand except for the words:
“We apologize for the inconvenience.”
A phrase so deeply embedded in modern air travel it should probably be printed directly on the boarding pass.
Every Airline Is Wonderful Until Something Goes Wrong
This is where our reviews get particularly interested.
A smooth flight doesn’t reveal everything about an airline.
Problems do.
Weather happens.
Mechanical problems happen.
Crews get displaced.
Airports become crowded.
Flights get canceled.
None of that automatically means an airline sucks.
What matters is what happens next.
Can you get useful information?
Can you reach someone?
Are employees helpful?
Does the app actually solve the problem?
Are your options explained clearly?
Or do you find yourself standing at a counter while somebody explains that there’s nothing they can do and suggests consulting an app that has already suggested consulting somebody at the airport?
Now we’re getting somewhere.
Or, more accurately:
We’re apparently not getting anywhere.
What We Actually Look At
We’re not interested in declaring an airline fantastic because they successfully transported us once without crashing or losing our suitcase.
That seems like a fairly low bar for an industry involving jet engines.
Instead, we’ll look at the whole experience:
- Booking and ticket prices
- Check-in
- Baggage policies and fees
- Boarding
- Seat comfort
- Legroom and cabin experience
- In-flight entertainment
- Wi-Fi, when available
- Food and drinks
- Flight crews
- Customer service
- Delays and cancellations
- Rebooking when things go wrong
- Airline apps and websites
- Baggage handling
- Overall value
- Whether we’d willingly fly with them again
And when we’ve personally flown an airline, we’ll tell you what actually happened rather than pretending one trip represents every flight the company has operated since Orville Wright got ambitious.
Our experience is an experience.
Useful evidence.
Not holy scripture.
Cheap Tickets Have a Sense of Humor
Few things in modern commerce are as exciting as finding an incredibly cheap airline ticket.
$129 ROUND TRIP!
Hell yes.
Then you click it.
Would you like to select a seat?
Money.
Would you like luggage?
Money.
Would you like slightly more legroom?
Money.
Would you like the privilege of knowing roughly which part of the aircraft you’ll occupy?
Apparently also money.
By the time you’ve finished selecting everything required to travel like a moderately comfortable human being, you’ve accidentally financed a small moon landing.
That doesn’t necessarily make a cheap airline bad.
A bare-bones fare can be an excellent deal if you understand what you’re getting.
That’s why we’ll try to separate cheap from good value, because the two aren’t always the same thing.
Neither are expensive and good.
Funny how that works.
We’re Reviewing the Experience, Not Just the Airplane
The airplane is arguably the easy part.
Once you’re cruising along at altitude, there’s relatively little left to negotiate.
Sit down.
Watch something.
Read.
Sleep.
Stare out the window.
Try not to wonder how aircraft engineers know what they’re doing.
The airline experience begins long before takeoff and continues after landing.
Booking matters.
Apps matter.
Communication matters.
Gate agents matter.
Baggage matters.
Customer service really matters when you’re stranded somewhere you’d never intended to spend Thursday night.
That’s why our airline reviews aren’t just aircraft reviews.
We’re looking at the entire miserable, miraculous procession from:
“Let’s book this trip.”
to:
“Thank God we’re home.”
Not Every Bad Flight Means a Bad Airline
This part matters.
Airlines conduct an absolutely enormous number of complicated operations involving aircraft, airports, employees, weather, luggage, computer systems, government regulations, and passengers who occasionally attempt to board Flight 821 despite holding a ticket for Flight 417.
Shit happens.
A single delay doesn’t prove an airline is terrible.
A single pleasant flight doesn’t prove it’s fantastic either.
So we’ll distinguish between:
What happened to us
and
what appears to be typical.
When possible, we’ll consider broader information alongside our firsthand experience so you can make your own decision instead of simply inheriting our grudges.
We reserve the right to maintain those grudges ourselves.
Those are ours.
Get your own.
So… Should You Fly This Crap?
That’s the real question.
Not which airline has the prettiest commercial.
Not which one has the fanciest safety video.
Not which airline’s marketing department has discovered the word premium most recently.
We want to know:
Would we book them again?
Maybe the answer is:
Absolutely.
Maybe it’s:
Sure, if the price is right.
Maybe it’s:
Only if the alternative involves traveling by mule.
That’s what these reviews are here to figure out.
Welcome Aboard
Below you’ll find our growing collection of airline reviews based on actual travel experiences, research, pricing, comfort, service, delays, customer support, and all the other crap that determines whether flying somewhere is enjoyable or merely survivable.
Some flights will be great.
Some will be forgettable.
And occasionally we’ll get a story we’ll still be angrily telling people five years from now.
Please place your seatback and tray table in their upright positions.
Fasten your seat belt.
Silence your electronic devices even though nobody has adequately explained why.
And welcome aboard Should I Buy This Crap? Airline Reviews.
We hope you enjoy your flight.
If not, at least we’ll get an article out of it.
