Category: Travel

  • Las Vegas: Slotzilla Review

    SlotZilla Zip Line: Flying Like Superman Over Fremont Street

    Las Vegas is full of attractions promising the experience of a lifetime. Some deliver. Some separate you from your money in record time.

    SlotZilla fortunately falls into the first category.

    Located at the eastern end of the Fremont Street Experience, SlotZilla launches riders high above downtown Las Vegas and sends them soaring beneath the massive Viva Vision canopy. The attraction opened in 2014 and has become one of the signature experiences of old Vegas. [visitlasvegas.city], [fremontstr…rience.com]

    The giant launch tower is built to resemble an oversized slot machine complete with showgirls, dice, martini glasses, and enough neon-inspired nonsense to fit perfectly into Fremont Street’s personality. It’s ridiculous.

    It’s also a blast.

    My Experience

    I’ll be honest, I loved the ride.

    As somebody who spends plenty of time doing normal adult things like paying bills, fixing stuff, and wondering where the weekend disappeared to, SlotZilla was a refreshing reminder that sometimes it’s fun to do something completely ridiculous.

    My first thought standing on that platform wasn’t excitement.

    It was:

    “Holy crap, I hope that teenager hooking up my harness knows what they’re doing.”

    A few seconds later that thought became:

    “HOLY CRAP, I’M FLYING LIKE SUPERMAN!”

    And honestly? That feeling alone was worth the price of admission.

    For a minute or two, you’re not thinking about schedules, errands, work. You’re just flying over Fremont Street having a blast.

    If you’ve gotten a little too comfortable with the routine of everyday life, I’d recommend giving it a try.

    The Ride Options

    SlotZilla offers two experiences. The standard Zip Line launches riders from approximately 77 feet above the street in a seated position. The higher Zoomline launches riders around 114 feet above the street in a face-down Superman-style flight that travels the entire Fremont Street Experience. [fremontstr…rience.com], [fremontstr…rience.com]

    If you’re already committing to being suspended above downtown Las Vegas by cables and engineering, I’d strongly recommend the Superman-style Zoomline.

    Go big.

    The Part That Sucked

    The ride was awesome.

    The operation wasn’t.

    We had 8:00 PM reservations.

    We arrived around 7:45 PM.

    We didn’t actually ride until nearly 11:00 PM.

    Three hours.

    Three.

    Hours.

    Apparently reservations and actual ride times are only loosely acquainted with one another.

    Nobody enjoys standing around Fremont Street for several hours wondering whether they’re about to fly through the air or simply become part of the local scenery.

    To their credit, we did not become pancakes on Fremont Street, so the safety side of things appears to be working.

    The scheduling side? That could use some attention.

    Save Your Money

    Here’s the part I wish somebody had told me before we booked.

    When we visited, our evening reservation tickets were roughly $80 per person.

    Meanwhile, daytime visitors had access to pass options that cost substantially less and allowed multiple rides before the evening rush started.

    If you’re visiting primarily for the thrill and don’t absolutely need the nighttime light show, it’s worth comparing ticket options before buying. The night ride was incredible, but I’d seriously look at the daytime passes next time.

    A Quick Zipline History Lesson

    Most people assume ziplines were invented for tourists with a questionable understanding of risk management.

    Not exactly.

    The concept dates back centuries. Early ropeway systems were used in mountainous regions of Asia to move people and supplies across difficult terrain. Similar systems later appeared in military and industrial applications long before anyone thought about charging tourists to fly through forests for fun. [en.wikipedia.org], [everything…ined.today]

    Modern recreational ziplining owes a surprising amount to researchers working in tropical forests. Scientists developed canopy-access systems to study wildlife high above the jungle floor, and those systems eventually evolved into the commercial zipline attractions that spread around the world. [nszipline.com], [coloradozipline.net]

    Most modern ziplines showcase mountains, forests, rivers, and waterfalls.

    SlotZilla showcases neon signs, casinos, and poor financial decision-making.

    And somehow that works perfectly.

    Reservations and Tickets

    Before purchasing, I’d compare prices directly from the source before using any third-party reseller:

    Many Las Vegas attraction sites and travel portals resell the same tickets, sometimes with added fees or limited availability. Checking the official source first can save both money and frustration.

    Final Crap Rating®

    💩💩 (2/4 Craps)

    The ride itself is outstanding.

    The wait times and operations can be frustrating.

    That’s how you end up with a middle score.

    If I’m rating only the flight experience, SlotZilla is flirting with a 1 Crap rating. It’s uniquely Vegas, genuinely exciting, and one of the few tourist attractions I’ve done where the smile lasted longer than the receipt.

    But when you’re standing around for three hours after making a reservation, that’s hard to ignore.

    Should You Buy This Crap?

    Yeah.

    Just bring your patience with you.

    You may spend several hours wondering if you’ll ever get on the ride, followed by sixty seconds wondering why humans were ever allowed to fly in the first place. Somehow, despite the wait, I’d absolutely do it again.


  • Travel Reviews – Guides and Practical Advice

    Travel Crap: Places Worth the Gas Money (and Places That Aren’t)

    Let’s be honest. Half of travel planning is scrolling through photos of beautiful places while convincing yourself that spending several hundred dollars to sleep somewhere other than your own bed is somehow a responsible financial decision.

    The other half is discovering that the “must-see attraction” everyone raves about is actually a crowded parking lot, a gift shop, and a line long enough to make you question your life choices.

    That’s where this section comes in.

    Here at Should I Buy This Crap?, I visit destinations, hotels, resorts, attractions, national parks, scenic drives, and tourist traps so you can figure out whether they’re actually worth your vacation budget. No influencer nonsense. No pretending every destination is magical. No suspiciously enthusiastic reviews written five minutes after someone got a free stay.

    Just honest opinions from someone who paid for the trip, stood in the lines, ate the overpriced food, and came home with an opinion.

    Sometimes a place will absolutely blow me away.

    Sometimes I’ll wonder why anyone thought charging admission for that was a good idea.

    And sometimes it’ll land somewhere in the middle, which is where most reality tends to live.

    What You’ll Find Here

    National Parks & Outdoor Adventures

    America has some incredible parks, and some are worth every penny, every mile driven, and every sore muscle afterward.

    You’ll find reviews covering park experiences, lodging, tours, hiking opportunities, photography potential, crowd levels, and whether the experience justifies the cost and effort required to get there.

    Because let’s face it, a four-hour drive to stare at a rock is only worth it if it’s a really cool rock.

    Hotels, Lodges & Resorts

    The internet says every hotel has luxury accommodations.

    The internet lies.

    I’ll cover what the rooms are actually like, whether the beds are comfortable, if the amenities work, if the staff are helpful, and whether the price matches the experience.

    A fancy lobby means absolutely nothing if the shower sounds like it was installed during the Carter administration.

    Tourist Attractions

    Everybody has that attraction their friends swear they have to see.

    Sometimes they’re right.

    Sometimes it’s just an expensive excuse to buy a magnet.

    If it’s worth your time, money, and vacation days, I’ll tell you. If it isn’t, I’ll tell you that too.

    Hidden Gems

    These are often the best parts of travel.

    The scenic overlook nobody talks about.

    The local restaurant that’s better than the chain tourist spots.

    The small attraction that ends up being more memorable than the famous one.

    Sometimes the best experiences happen completely by accident.

    The Official Travel Crap Rating™

    Every destination gets judged using the highly scientific and definitely-not-made-up 1-4 Crap Scale.

    💩 One Crap – Buy This Crap

    Fantastic. Worth the trip. I’d happily go back.

    💩💩 Two Craps – Good Stuff

    Easy recommendation, but a few annoyances, costs, or limitations keep it from greatness.

    💩💩💩 Three Craps – Proceed With Caution

    You might enjoy it. You might not. Bring realistic expectations and possibly snacks.

    💩💩💩💩 Four Craps – Don’t Buy This Crap

    Save your money, save your vacation time, and save yourself the disappointment.

    Start Exploring

    Whether you’re planning a weekend getaway, a cross-country road trip, a national park adventure, or just trying to figure out if that highly-rated tourist attraction is actually worth your hard-earned cash, you’ll find my honest thoughts here.

    Because vacation days are limited.

    Gas isn’t getting cheaper.

    And somebody needs to test this crap.


    Suggested Internal Links

  • Mesa Verde National Park & Far View Lodge Review

    Cliff Palace
    Cliff Palace Mesa Verde National Park

    ⚠️ Buy Tour Tickets ONLY From The National Park Service

    Before we get into the review, let’s talk about something that annoyed the crap out of me.

    Mesa Verde’s guided tours are one of the biggest reasons to visit the park.

    Unfortunately, there are third-party resellers and tour brokers out there charging absolutely ridiculous markups for reservations that originate with the National Park Service.

    Most official cliff dwelling tours cost about $8 per person through the National Park Service reservation system.

    I’ve seen third-party offerings charging well over $100, and occasionally much more, for essentially the same access.

    Don’t do that.

    Buy directly from the source:

    Official Reservation Site

    National Park Service

    Mesa Verde tour reservations are released through Recreation.gov and typically become available 14 days before the tour date at 8:00 AM Mountain Time.

    Popular tours include:

    • Cliff Palace
    • Balcony House
    • Long House
    • Square Tower House

    If you’re planning a visit during busy periods, set a reminder and book directly through the official system.

    Your wallet will thank you.

    And you’ll have more money left over for gas, food, souvenirs, or additional adventures instead of funding somebody else’s ticket-flipping side hustle.

    Now for the actual review!

    Every now and then you visit a place that reminds you how incredibly small you are.

    Mesa Verde is one of those places.

    I’ve been to beaches.

    I’ve been to mountains.

    I’ve been to famous tourist attractions.

    None of those hit quite the same way as standing in the presence of homes built by people who lived here hundreds of years before Columbus ever got lost looking for somewhere else.

    Mesa Verde isn’t just a national park.

    It’s a direct connection to an ancient civilization that once thrived among these cliffs and mesas.

    And that’s a humbling experience.

    Far View Lodge only enhances that feeling. No television. No meaningful cell service. A private balcony overlooking a landscape that stretches for miles without modern development cluttering the view.

    This isn’t luxury in the traditional sense.

    It’s something rarer:

    Silence.

    Darkness.

    Perspective.


    💩 Poop Rating

    💩 1 Poop

    Excellent crap.

    One of the most memorable travel experiences I’ve ever had.


    Why This Review Matters

    If you’re researching:

    • Mesa Verde National Park review
    • Far View Lodge review
    • Is Mesa Verde worth visiting?
    • Best national parks in Colorado
    • Cliff Palace tour review
    • Ancient Puebloan sites
    • Far View Lodge experience
    • Mesa Verde stargazing

    This review combines research with real-world visitor experience.


    The Humbling Factor

    Photographs don’t prepare you for Mesa Verde.

    Neither do documentaries.

    Neither do textbooks.

    Then you stand in front of Cliff Palace or Long House and realize:

    People actually lived here.

    Families were raised here.

    Meals were cooked here.

    Communities thrived here.

    Hundreds of years ago.

    It’s one thing to read history.

    It’s another thing entirely to stand inside it.

    That feeling alone makes the trip worthwhile.


    This Park Is Not For The Faint Of Heart

    And I mean that literally.

    Mesa Verde takes its tours seriously.

    Many of the most famous sites require:

    • Ladders
    • Steep trails
    • Uneven terrain
    • Narrow passages
    • Significant elevation changes
    • Moderate to strenuous hiking

    The rangers don’t simply wave everyone through and hope for the best.

    If a visitor cannot safely complete a particular tour, access may be denied.

    And honestly, that’s a good thing.

    These sites deserve protection, and visitors deserve honest expectations.

    If you expect every attraction to be a short walk from the parking lot, Mesa Verde may surprise you.

    Wear good shoes.

    Bring water.

    And leave the sandals at the hotel.

    Why Advanced Planning Matters

    Mesa Verde rewards people who plan ahead.

    The most popular tours can sell out quickly, especially:

    • Cliff Palace
    • Long House
    • Square Tower House

    If you’re serious about seeing the best archaeological sites, reserve directly through Recreation.gov as soon as your booking window opens.

    Paying $8 to the National Park Service feels a lot better than paying some reseller enough money to finance their next truck payment.

    Start of the guided tour at Cliff Palace

    The Rangers Are Outstanding

    National parks live and die by their staff.

    Mesa Verde’s ranger team was fantastic.

    Knowledgeable.

    Friendly.

    Professional.

    Entertaining.

    Most importantly, they clearly cared about the history they were sharing.

    Anyone can memorize facts.

    Not everyone can make a thousand-year-old civilization feel relevant and alive.

    The ranger-led tours added tremendous value to the trip.


    Wildlife Encounters

    Nature decided to put on a show during our visit.

    At one point we encountered a mother bear with cubs feeding on a kill only a few hundred feet from the road.

    That’s obviously not guaranteed.

    Wildlife doesn’t operate on a schedule.

    But it was a powerful reminder that Mesa Verde isn’t simply a giant outdoor museum.

    It’s still a living landscape.

    Sometimes that reality gets much closer than expected.

    Mama bear and cubs near road to park

    Far View Lodge Is Part Of The Experience

    Most people think of Far View Lodge as merely a place to sleep.

    I think that’s underselling it.

    The lodge is part of what makes Mesa Verde special.

    No television.

    No reliable cell coverage.

    No constant notifications.

    No social media rabbit holes.

    Just you and the landscape.

    And what a landscape it is.

    The private balcony ended up being one of my favorite features.

    The view goes on forever.

    Unlike much of modern America, there aren’t subdivisions, strip malls, billboards, or parking lots dominating the horizon.

    You simply sit and look.

    That may not sound exciting.

    In today’s world, it feels almost revolutionary.


    The Darkness Deserves Its Own Section

    Mesa Verde became an International Dark Sky Park for a reason.

    The darkness here is extraordinary.

    Not suburban darkness.

    Not small-town darkness.

    Actual darkness.

    The sort of darkness where stars stop being background decoration and become the main attraction.

    One thing I loved about Far View Lodge was being able to simply walk onto the balcony and look out into genuine darkness.

    There was one distant light visible far out on the horizon.

    It might have been an oil rig.

    It might have been aliens.

    At that distance, either explanation seemed equally plausible.

    Everything else was darkness.

    Beautiful darkness.

    The kind that’s becoming increasingly difficult to find.


    No Cell Service Was Actually A Benefit

    Normally hotels advertise faster internet and stronger connectivity.

    Far View Lodge accidentally sold me on the opposite.

    No TV.

    No cell service.

    No endless stream of distractions.

    What started as a minor inconvenience quickly became one of my favorite parts of the trip.

    It forced me to pay attention to where I was instead of staring at a screen.

    That sounds obvious.

    It’s also surprisingly rare.


    A Brief History Of Mesa Verde

    Mesa Verde was home to the Ancestral Puebloan people for centuries.

    Between roughly 600 and 1300 CE, communities established villages, developed agriculture, and eventually built the remarkable cliff dwellings that make the park famous today.

    Sites like:

    • Cliff Palace
    • Balcony House
    • Long House
    • Square Tower House

    remain among the most significant archaeological sites in North America.

    What makes Mesa Verde so powerful isn’t simply its age.

    It’s the preservation.

    You don’t just see ruins.

    You see evidence of actual lives once lived.


    Why A Return Visit Is Worth It

    Many national parks are essentially one-and-done experiences.

    Mesa Verde isn’t one of them.

    The common mistake is assuming you’ve “seen Mesa Verde” because you’ve visited Cliff Palace.

    Cliff Palace is incredible.

    But it’s only part of the story.

    A second trip opens up completely different experiences:

    • Long House
    • Square Tower House
    • Wetherill Mesa
    • Step House
    • Badger House Community
    • Petroglyph Point
    • Ranger astronomy programs
    • Dark-sky viewing

    In fact, if I returned tomorrow, I’d focus heavily on Wetherill Mesa.

    It feels noticeably different from the more famous sections of the park.

    Quieter.

    More isolated.

    More immersive.

    Exactly the kind of place that rewards repeat visitors.


    Fall Might Be The Sweet Spot

    After looking into a possible return trip, I suspect fall may actually be the ideal season.

    Why?

    • Cooler hiking temperatures
    • Fewer crowds
    • Better stargazing opportunities
    • Earlier darkness
    • More intimate atmosphere
    • Active ranger programs still running

    For Colorado residents, Far View Lodge occasionally offers surprisingly attractive local discounts late in the season, making a return trip even easier to justify.

    The combination of cooler weather, smaller crowds, and exceptional night skies sounds almost perfect.

    Mesa Verde National Park looking north east
    Roadside view leaving the park

    What Surprised Me Most

    I expected interesting history.

    I expected pretty scenery.

    I expected educational tours.

    What I didn’t expect was the emotional impact.

    Standing there looking at structures built centuries ago creates a strange sense of perspective.

    Your inbox feels less important.

    Your deadlines feel less important.

    Your daily frustrations feel less important.

    Meanwhile you’re standing in a place built by people whose story still matters hundreds of years later.

    That sticks with you.


    Pros & Cons

    ✅ Pros

    • One of the most unique historical sites in America
    • Incredible cliff dwellings
    • Outstanding ranger programs
    • Amazing dark-sky viewing
    • Excellent wildlife opportunities
    • Far View Lodge provides immersive park access
    • Private balconies with spectacular views
    • No TV distractions
    • Limited cell service actually improves the experience
    • Plenty of reasons for repeat visits
    • Deeply educational and humbling

    ❌ Cons

    • Long drives within the park
    • Many tours require physical effort
    • Summer heat can be intense
    • Limited dining options compared to town
    • Poor cell service
    • Not ideal for visitors with significant mobility limitations
    • Can spoil you for other historical attractions

    Final Verdict

    Mesa Verde isn’t simply a place you visit.

    It’s a place you experience.

    The history is remarkable.

    The scenery is remarkable.

    The wildlife is remarkable.

    And Far View Lodge keeps you immersed in that experience instead of sending you back to modern civilization every evening.

    Most vacations entertain you.

    Mesa Verde teaches you something.

    Not just about the Ancestral Puebloan people.

    About perspective.

    About time.

    And about how small our worries can seem when standing in the presence of something that has endured for centuries.


    Final Poop Score

    💩 1/4 Poops

    Excellent crap.

    Come for the cliff dwellings.

    Stay for the stars.

    Leave with a little more humility than you arrived with.

    And if Far View Lodge somehow convinces you that a lack of cell service is a luxury feature instead of a problem, don’t worry.

    You’re not alone. 🏛️🐻🌌💩

    Balcony House – Mesa Verde National Park
    Ancient Cliff Dwellings
  • The Springs Resort: Couples stay at Pagosa Springs, Colorado resort review

    The Springs Resort is one of the most famous hot-springs destinations in Colorado, and after visiting, I understand exactly why.

    I also understand why some people leave feeling a little conflicted.

    This isn’t a one-poop review.

    Not because it’s bad.

    Far from it.

    The mud treatment area was fantastic. The sauna was excellent. The ability to jump from a cold plunge directly into a steaming hot spring was one of my favorite parts of the trip. The property sits right on the San Juan River, and when river access is open, that contrast-therapy experience is one of the resort’s biggest selling points.

    But I also couldn’t ignore the downsides.

    The facilities feel a bit dated in places.

    Several soaking pools felt somewhat stagnant during my visit.

    Weekend crowds turned some pools into human soup.

    And when you start looking at the price tag, the value proposition becomes harder to defend.

    The Springs Resort isn’t selling luxury rooms.

    It’s selling access.

    Whether that’s worth the premium depends entirely on how much soaking you’re planning to do.


    💩 Poop Rating

    💩💩 2 Poops

    Good crap, but expensive crap.

    I enjoyed my stay.

    I’d go back.

    But I’d be lying if I said I thought the value matched the price.


    Why This Review Matters

    If you’re researching:

    • Springs Resort Pagosa Springs review
    • Is The Springs Resort worth it?
    • Pagosa Springs hot springs resort
    • Best hot springs in Colorado
    • Couples getaway in Pagosa Springs
    • Springs Resort vs Healing Waters
    • Staying at The Springs Resort

    This review combines firsthand experience with extensive background research.


    First Impressions

    The first thing you’ll notice is the smell.

    Not the mountains.

    Not the pools.

    Not the river.

    The smell.

    And holy crap, the sulfur smell is real.

    Now, I understand that’s part of the authentic geothermal experience. Sulfur is one of the things that makes hot springs hot springs.

    But during my visit, the smell was absolutely everywhere.

    Some people probably adapt to it quickly.

    I certainly did.

    The problem isn’t that you never get used to it.

    You do.

    The problem is that “getting used to it” and “stopping smelling it” are not the same thing.

    During my stay, my brain more or less learned to file the odor into the background, but the sulfur smell remained noticeable almost everywhere on the property. It’s part of the identity of the resort, and if you’re sensitive to strong smells, it’s something you should know before booking.

    In other words, I adapted to it.

    I just never forgot it was there.

    If you’re sensitive to strong smells, do not dismiss this as a minor detail.

    This could become one of the defining memories of your trip.


    The Hot Springs Experience

    This is the reason people come.

    And to be fair, it’s mostly excellent.

    The resort has roughly fifty pools and water features spread throughout the property.

    The variety is impressive.

    You can bounce between:

    • Warm soaking pools
    • Hot soaking pools
    • Cold-plunge pools
    • Wellness pools
    • River-access areas
    • Adults-only zones

    The contrast therapy options are where the resort really shines.

    Jumping from cold water directly into a hot spring is fantastic.

    It’s the closest I’ve come to understanding why Vikings seemed so enthusiastic about life.

    Unfortunately, river access was mostly closed during my most recent visit, which removed one of the coolest aspects of the experience.


    The Mud and Sauna Experience

    This was easily one of the highlights.

    The mud area was fantastic.

    The sauna was equally impressive.

    If you’re already paying Springs Resort prices, I strongly recommend taking advantage of these amenities.

    Compared to some of the overcrowded pools, these areas felt much more like a genuine wellness experience rather than communal soup preparation.


    The Crowding Problem

    Let’s talk about the elephant in the hot tub.

    Crowds.

    Weekend crowds can be rough.

    During busy periods, some pools became far more crowded than I would have liked.

    It’s hard to achieve peak relaxation when you’re sharing a small soaking pool with enough strangers to form a softball team.

    The resort’s biggest advantage is that overnight guests receive access outside public hours.

    If you’re staying on property, take advantage of early mornings and late evenings.

    That’s when the experience becomes significantly more enjoyable.


    Rooms and Facilities

    This was one of the more mixed parts of the trip.

    The newest rooms are substantially nicer than the older inventory.

    If you’re spending significant money here, I would absolutely prioritize one of the newer accommodations whenever possible.

    The older facilities aren’t terrible.

    But they don’t always feel like accommodations charging premium resort prices.

    That’s where the value conversation starts getting uncomfortable.

    The rooms are fine.

    The pools are the attraction.

    Keep your expectations aligned accordingly.


    Is It Romantic?

    Honestly?

    Yes.

    But not in the way many people imagine.

    This is not a private hot-tub retreat.

    Most pools are communal.

    Most soaking areas are shared.

    Most experiences involve other people.

    What makes it romantic is the atmosphere.

    The mountains.

    The river.

    The steam rising at night.

    The ability to spend hours soaking together while doing absolutely nothing productive.

    If that sounds appealing, you’ll probably have a great time.

    If you’re imagining private pools and total seclusion, you may be disappointed.


    Food and Dining

    The resort has significantly improved its dining options over the years.

    You can easily spend an entire day moving between:

    • Pools
    • Meals
    • Drinks
    • Wellness activities

    without ever needing to leave the property.

    The problem?

    Pricing.

    The nicer dining options are good.

    They’re also expensive.

    Very expensive.

    The food wasn’t bad by any means, but I didn’t walk away thinking I had discovered the culinary bargain of the century.


    Is It Worth the Money?

    This is the hardest question.

    And honestly, my answer is:

    Sometimes.

    If you’re the type of person who plans to:

    • Soak repeatedly
    • Use the wellness facilities
    • Take advantage of early and late access
    • Spend most of your vacation on property

    Then the overnight stay makes sense.

    If you’re planning:

    • One soak
    • A quick visit
    • Mostly hiking and sightseeing

    then the economics become much harder to justify.

    At that point, staying somewhere less expensive and buying a day pass may be the smarter move.

    The Springs Resort works best when the resort itself is the vacation.


    A Brief History of Pagosa Springs

    Long before tourists arrived carrying flip-flops and reusable water bottles, people came here for the geothermal waters.

    The Mother Spring remains the centerpiece of the entire area and is officially recognized as the deepest measured geothermal hot spring in the world.

    Or at least the deepest anyone has successfully measured.

    The last major measurement exceeded 1,000 feet without reaching the bottom.

    Apparently even science eventually looked down the hole and said:

    “Good enough.”

    The modern resort grew around this remarkable natural feature and has continued expanding into the large wellness destination it is today.

    While visiting, we did encounter a local who had enjoyed enough adult beverages to confidently explain that the “real” hot spring is supposedly underground somewhere and that the visible Mother Spring is merely a tourist attraction.

    Since this theory arrived with approximately the same level of supporting evidence as most late-night bar conversations, I wasn’t inclined to rewrite the history books based on it.

    The documented geothermal spring on the property remains the centerpiece of the modern resort and the reason Pagosa Springs became famous in the first place.


    Best Time to Visit

    For me?

    Fall wins.

    Cool weather plus hot springs is a nearly unbeatable combination.

    The aspens are beautiful.

    The temperatures make soaking more enjoyable.

    And the entire atmosphere feels more magical.

    Winter would be a close second.

    Few things sound better than soaking in geothermal water while snow falls around you.

    Summer is still enjoyable, but hot weather naturally reduces some of the appeal of sitting in very hot water.


    Pros & Cons

    ✅ Pros

    • Fantastic hot springs experience
    • Excellent mud treatment area
    • Great sauna facilities
    • Cold plunge and hot spring combinations are amazing
    • Beautiful riverside location
    • Excellent for couples
    • Large variety of pools
    • Overnight access provides a major advantage
    • Wellness programs continue expanding
    • Easy walkability around downtown Pagosa Springs

    ❌ Cons

    • Expensive
    • Value doesn’t always match the pricing
    • Facilities feel dated in places
    • Sulfur smell can be overwhelming
    • Weekend crowds can significantly impact the experience
    • Some pools felt stagnant during my visit
    • Not especially private despite its romantic reputation
    • Food and drinks add up quickly
    • River access may not always be fully available

    Final Verdict

    The Springs Resort gave me some genuinely memorable experiences.

    The mud treatment was fantastic.

    The sauna was fantastic.

    The contrast therapy opportunities were fantastic.

    The setting is beautiful.

    The crowds and pricing, however, prevent me from calling it excellent value.

    If money were no object, I’d recommend it without hesitation.

    But money unfortunately exists, and The Springs Resort certainly knows that.

    I’d return.

    I’d recommend it.

    I’d just recommend going in with realistic expectations.

    You’re paying for access to an incredible geothermal resource.

    You’re not necessarily paying for one of the most luxurious resort experiences in Colorado.

    Those are two very different things.


    Final Poop Score

    💩💩 2/4 Poops

    Good crap.

    The hot springs are excellent.

    The wellness experience is excellent.

    The value? Not so much.

    Come for the soaking, the mud, and the cold plunges.

    Just don’t expect your wallet to leave feeling quite as relaxed as you do. 🌋💩🏔️