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Buy This Crap

Honest Product Reviews, Buying Guides & Stuff We Actually Use

There is an astonishing amount of crap for sale.

Some of it is excellent. Some of it is overpriced garbage wrapped in enough marketing language to make you wonder whether you’re buying a vacuum cleaner or joining a lifestyle movement.

Buy This Crap is where we try to sort one from the other.

These are independent product reviews, long-term owner reports, comparisons, and buying guides focused on the things that actually matter once the box has been opened and the return window starts quietly closing behind you.

Whenever possible, we review products we’ve actually owned, used, cleaned, maintained, repaired, broken, recommended, regretted, or stubbornly refused to replace.

Because specifications tell you what something is supposed to do.

Living with the damn thing tells you whether it actually does it.


What Makes Our Reviews Different?

We’re not particularly interested in telling you that a washing machine has six cycles when you can read that on the manufacturer’s website.

We want to know:

  • Does it actually clean your clothes?
  • Is the vacuum still worth owning after several years of dog hair?
  • Does the TV still look fantastic outside a carefully controlled showroom?
  • Is the coffee maker easy to clean after the novelty wears off?
  • Can an expensive appliance be repaired, or does one cheap plastic part turn it into a 200-pound paperweight?
  • Does that fancy feature actually improve anything?
  • Most importantly, would we spend our own money on it again?

That’s the stuff that’s harder to fit on the side of the box.

It’s also the stuff we’d want to know before buying one.


Long-Term Owner Reviews

Because Almost Everything Works on Day One

First impressions are useful.

Five-year impressions are better.

A lot of the products reviewed here have lived in our house for months or years. They’ve dealt with pets, spills, dust, laundry, cooking, guests, neglect, maintenance and the occasional owner wondering whether hitting the thing will technically void the warranty.

Long-term ownership reveals things a conventional review can’t always tell you:

What wears out? What’s easy to clean? What’s annoying? What breaks? Can you fix it? And after living with it, do you still like the damn thing?

When we have that experience, you’ll find it in the review.

When we don’t, we’ll tell you that too.


Buying Guides & Comparisons

When Everything at the Store Somehow Claims to Be #1

Buying guides are a little different.

We may not personally own every product in a comparison, so when a guide relies on outside testing, specifications, reliability information, professional testing, or other research, we’ll make that clear.

More importantly, we’ll explain how we’re ranking things.

There isn’t one universal definition of “best.”

The vacuum with the largest feature list isn’t necessarily the one that cleans carpet best. The flashiest washing machine isn’t necessarily the one we’d want to own for ten years. And the most expensive television doesn’t automatically become the best choice because somebody added another zero to the price tag.

So our guides prioritize the things that matter for that particular product.

Performance comes first when performance matters most.

Reliability matters when you’re buying something expensive.

Maintenance matters when you’re the poor bastard who’s eventually going to have to clean it.

And value always matters because, unlike manufacturers, we assume you probably care what the thing costs.


Shop Our Reviews by Category

Cleaning Gear

Vacuums, robot vacuums, carpet cleaners and other machines designed to wage an increasingly hopeless war against dirt and dog hair.

Explore Cleaning Gear →


Major Appliances

Washers, dryers and the large expensive machines we depend on every day right up until they start making a noise they definitely weren’t making yesterday.

Explore Major Appliance Reviews →


Kitchen Gadgets & Appliances

Coffee makers, blenders, food processors, cookware and other devices competing for increasingly limited counter space.

Explore Kitchen Reviews →


TVs, Computers & Tech

Televisions, monitors, computer components and other electronics judged by what they’re actually like to use, not how impressive the specification sheet looks.

Explore Tech Reviews →


Guitars & Music Gear

Guitars, amps, pedals, stands and assorted devices purchased during that dangerous moment when a musician convinces himself that this piece of equipment will finally solve everything.

It probably won’t.

But it might sound fantastic.

Explore Guitar & Music Gear →


Pet & Dog Stuff

Products that have faced perhaps the most demanding product-testing laboratory available:

a house with dogs in it.

Beds, cleaning products, grooming equipment and whatever else promises to make sharing your house with furry freeloaders slightly easier.

Explore Pet Product Reviews →


How We Decide Whether Crap Is Good

There’s no secret algorithm that spits out an answer after we enter fifteen numbers and sacrifice a toaster.

We look at the things we’d consider before spending our own money.

Performance

Does it do the primary thing you’re buying it to do, and does it do it well?

Usability

Is it pleasant to live with, or has somebody managed to turn a simple household chore into a touchscreen-based hostage negotiation?

Reliability

How has it held up? Are there known trouble spots? What happens after the honeymoon period ends?

Maintenance & Repairability

Can normal people clean, maintain or repair it?

Or did somebody bury a five-dollar component behind eighteen proprietary screws and the structural support for the entire appliance?

Features

Useful features count.

Features invented primarily to create another bullet point on the box don’t impress us nearly as much.

Value

A fantastic product can still be a terrible deal.

Likewise, something cheap isn’t a bargain if you’re buying another one next year.

We care about what you get for your money and how long you’re likely to keep getting it.


Who’s Reviewing This Stuff?

I’m Joe Zimmerman, owner and editor of ShouldIBuyThisCrap.com.

A lot of these reviews started because I already owned something and realized I’d learned more about it through years of actual use than I ever knew when I bought it.

Sometimes that experience is good.

Sometimes it involves repairing something that somebody else had already declared dead.

Sometimes it ends with me standing over an appliance thinking deeply philosophical thoughts such as:

“Who the hell designed this?”

Those experiences are the point.

I’m not going to pretend I’ve personally tested every product ever manufactured. If an article is based primarily on research or outside testing, I’ll tell you. If I’ve personally owned the thing for five years, I’ll tell you that too.

You deserve to know the difference.


So, Should You Buy This Crap?

Maybe.

That’s why we’re here.

We’re not trying to convince you to buy everything we write about. Sometimes the best buying advice is:

Keep the one you’ve already got.

Sometimes it’s:

Buy the cheaper model.

And occasionally it’s:

Hell yes. This thing is fantastic.

The point isn’t to sell you more stuff.

It’s to give you enough honest information to decide which crap deserves your money and which crap deserves to stay on the shelf.

Start With the Crap You’re Shopping For

Cleaning Gear →
Major Appliances →
Kitchen Gear →
TVs & Tech →
Guitars & Music Gear →
Pet Products →
All Product Reviews →

About Author

Joe Zimmerman

About Us
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Hollywood Announces Movie About Sylvester Stallone Overcoming Incredible Adversity of What Actually Happened

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