The graphics card market is more confusing than ever. You can spend $250 or $3,000 and every manufacturer will happily tell you their card is the one you need.
The problem is that most people either buy far more GPU than they need or not enough to last more than a couple of years.
This guide looks at the current NVIDIA, AMD, and Intel lineups and answers the question nobody in marketing wants to answer:
Which cards are actually worth buying?
GPU Performance Chart
Current GPU Stack
Budget GPUs
GPU
VRAM
Best For
My Take
Intel Arc B580
12GB
1080p Ultra
Budget king
RTX 5060
8GB
Esports
Hard sell
RX 9060 XT 16GB
16GB
1080p/1440p
Strong value
Current Arc B580 cards typically offer 12GB VRAM at around the $249 class, making them unusually strong budget options for 1080p and entry-level 1440p gaming. [ngxptech.com], [howtogeek.com]
Poop Rating
GPU
Craps
Arc B580
💩
RX 9060 XT 16GB
💩
RTX 5060
💩💩💩
Midrange GPUs
GPU
VRAM
Resolution
RTX 5070
12GB
1440p
RX 9070
16GB
1440p Ultra
RTX 5070 Ti
16GB
1440p / Entry 4K
The RTX 5070 is still the default recommendation for most gamers, while the RTX 5070 Ti tends to be the sweet spot for performance enthusiasts. RTX 5070 models typically ship with 12GB VRAM, while the RTX 5070 Ti carries 16GB. [windminers.com], [en.wikipedia.org]
Best Value Winner
🏆 RTX 5070 Ti
The card most people wish they’d bought a year later.
High-End GPUs
GPU
VRAM
Verdict
RX 9070 XT
16GB
AMD’s best gaming value
RTX 5080
16GB
Premium but sensible
RTX 5090
32GB
Unhinged
The RTX 5090 offers 32GB VRAM and sits at the top of NVIDIA’s stack, while the RTX 5080 delivers much of the experience at a significantly lower cost. [nvidia.com], [en.wikipedia.org]
Not because it’s bad. Quite the opposite. I hate it because every time I look at my credit card statement I briefly consider whether I could have bought a decent used car instead.
The MSI RTX 5090 SUPRIM LIQUID SOC costs an absolutely stupid amount of money. Nobody should be comfortable spending this much on a graphics card. I certainly wasn’t. Even now I occasionally stare at it and wonder what exactly was wrong with my perfectly functional RTX 2080 Ti.
Then I actually use it.
And unfortunately that’s where my argument falls apart.
The Upgrade From a 2080 Ti Is Ridiculous
Going from the 2080 Ti to the 5090 isn’t an upgrade. It’s more like skipping several generations of hardware evolution and landing in the future.
Games obviously run better, but honestly that’s the least interesting thing about this card.
What surprised me most was how useful the 32GB of VRAM became once I started running local AI models, generating images, rendering projects, and experimenting with workflows that simply weren’t practical on my older hardware.
Tasks that used to make my system groan now finish before I’ve had a chance to complain about them. In some cases the GPU can produce results faster than I can come up with the next thing to do.
The 5080 already pushes absurd frame rates, handles ray tracing well, and has enough performance for the vast majority of gamers. Spending the extra money on a 5090 purely for more FPS starts entering the realm of diminishing returns.
Will the 5090 be faster?
Of course.
Will it be thousands-of-dollars-faster?
Absolutely not.
The 5090 only starts making sense when you’re using it for more than gaming.
This Card Feels Like Hiring An Assistant
The best way I can describe the 5090 is that it doesn’t feel like a hardware purchase.
It feels like hiring an employee.
Rendering jobs complete sooner.
AI image generation runs faster.
Local language models respond faster.
Video exports finish faster.
Everything that relies heavily on GPU acceleration simply gets out of my way.
The card doesn’t make me work harder. It makes me spend less time waiting.
Over weeks and months that time adds up quickly, especially if you’re constantly creating content, experimenting with AI tools, or working on projects that would otherwise leave your machine grinding away for hours.
The Cooling Is Brilliant
MSI’s SUPRIM LIQUID cooler is complete overkill.
Which is exactly what you want on a 600-watt monster.
Temperatures stay impressively low, noise levels remain reasonable, and the card avoids becoming the miniature space heater you’d expect from something drawing this much power.
You do need room for the radiator, and installation is more involved than a traditional air-cooled card, but that’s the tradeoff for keeping a flagship GPU under control.
The Price Still Hurts
I wish I could tell you this card is great value.
It isn’t.
It’s a luxury item.
A very fast luxury item.
The painful reality is that cheaper RTX 5090s produce nearly the same performance. You’re paying extra for MSI’s premium design, liquid cooling solution, and enthusiast appeal.
Whether that’s worth it is entirely up to your wallet.
Mine is still filing complaints.
Final Poop Score: 💩💩 (2 / 4 Craps)
The MSI RTX 5090 SUPRIM LIQUID SOC earns 2 Craps.
Not because it’s slow. Not because it’s loud. Not because MSI did anything wrong.
It gets 2 Craps because every time I look at the purchase price, a small part of me dies.
The card itself is phenomenal. The cooling is excellent, the performance jump from my 2080 Ti was enormous, and for AI, rendering, local models, and content creation it honestly feels less like a GPU and more like an extra employee working inside my computer.
The problem is the cost.
For gaming alone, I’d tell most people to buy a 5080 and keep the extra money. The 5090 only really starts making sense when you’re using it as a tool that saves you time and increases productivity.
Do I regret buying it?
My bank account says yes.
My workflow says absolutely not.
Final Verdict: 💩💩 An outrageously expensive masterpiece.
Final Verdict
The MSI RTX 5090 SUPRIM LIQUID SOC is one of the best graphics cards I’ve ever owned and one of the most painful purchases I’ve ever made.
The performance jump from my RTX 2080 Ti was massive. For gaming it’s incredible, but gaming alone isn’t enough to justify the cost. The real value comes from productivity, rendering, AI workloads, and anything else that can take advantage of the absurd amount of compute power on offer.
If all you want is more frames in games, buy a 5080 and enjoy having money left over.
If you spend your days rendering, generating AI content, running local models, or creating things professionally, the 5090 starts looking less like a graphics card and more like an investment in your workflow.
I still think it’s outrageously expensive.
I also have absolutely no intention of going back.
⚠️ Buy Tour Tickets ONLY From The National Park Service
Before we get into the review, let’s talk about something that annoyed the crap out of me.
Mesa Verde’s guided tours are one of the biggest reasons to visit the park.
Unfortunately, there are third-party resellers and tour brokers out there charging absolutely ridiculous markups for reservations that originate with the National Park Service.
Most official cliff dwelling tours cost about $8 per person through the National Park Service reservation system.
I’ve seen third-party offerings charging well over $100, and occasionally much more, for essentially the same access.
Mesa Verde tour reservations are released through Recreation.gov and typically become available 14 days before the tour date at 8:00 AM Mountain Time.
Popular tours include:
Cliff Palace
Balcony House
Long House
Square Tower House
If you’re planning a visit during busy periods, set a reminder and book directly through the official system.
Your wallet will thank you.
And you’ll have more money left over for gas, food, souvenirs, or additional adventures instead of funding somebody else’s ticket-flipping side hustle.
Now for the actual review!
Every now and then you visit a place that reminds you how incredibly small you are.
Mesa Verde is one of those places.
I’ve been to beaches.
I’ve been to mountains.
I’ve been to famous tourist attractions.
None of those hit quite the same way as standing in the presence of homes built by people who lived here hundreds of years before Columbus ever got lost looking for somewhere else.
Mesa Verde isn’t just a national park.
It’s a direct connection to an ancient civilization that once thrived among these cliffs and mesas.
And that’s a humbling experience.
Far View Lodge only enhances that feeling. No television. No meaningful cell service. A private balcony overlooking a landscape that stretches for miles without modern development cluttering the view.
This isn’t luxury in the traditional sense.
It’s something rarer:
Silence.
Darkness.
Perspective.
💩 Poop Rating
💩 1 Poop
Excellent crap.
One of the most memorable travel experiences I’ve ever had.
Why This Review Matters
If you’re researching:
Mesa Verde National Park review
Far View Lodge review
Is Mesa Verde worth visiting?
Best national parks in Colorado
Cliff Palace tour review
Ancient Puebloan sites
Far View Lodge experience
Mesa Verde stargazing
This review combines research with real-world visitor experience.
The Humbling Factor
Photographs don’t prepare you for Mesa Verde.
Neither do documentaries.
Neither do textbooks.
Then you stand in front of Cliff Palace or Long House and realize:
People actually lived here.
Families were raised here.
Meals were cooked here.
Communities thrived here.
Hundreds of years ago.
It’s one thing to read history.
It’s another thing entirely to stand inside it.
That feeling alone makes the trip worthwhile.
This Park Is Not For The Faint Of Heart
And I mean that literally.
Mesa Verde takes its tours seriously.
Many of the most famous sites require:
Ladders
Steep trails
Uneven terrain
Narrow passages
Significant elevation changes
Moderate to strenuous hiking
The rangers don’t simply wave everyone through and hope for the best.
If a visitor cannot safely complete a particular tour, access may be denied.
And honestly, that’s a good thing.
These sites deserve protection, and visitors deserve honest expectations.
If you expect every attraction to be a short walk from the parking lot, Mesa Verde may surprise you.
Wear good shoes.
Bring water.
And leave the sandals at the hotel.
Why Advanced Planning Matters
Mesa Verde rewards people who plan ahead.
The most popular tours can sell out quickly, especially:
Cliff Palace
Long House
Square Tower House
If you’re serious about seeing the best archaeological sites, reserve directly through Recreation.gov as soon as your booking window opens.
Paying $8 to the National Park Service feels a lot better than paying some reseller enough money to finance their next truck payment.
Start of the guided tour at Cliff Palace
The Rangers Are Outstanding
National parks live and die by their staff.
Mesa Verde’s ranger team was fantastic.
Knowledgeable.
Friendly.
Professional.
Entertaining.
Most importantly, they clearly cared about the history they were sharing.
Anyone can memorize facts.
Not everyone can make a thousand-year-old civilization feel relevant and alive.
The ranger-led tours added tremendous value to the trip.
Wildlife Encounters
Nature decided to put on a show during our visit.
At one point we encountered a mother bear with cubs feeding on a kill only a few hundred feet from the road.
That’s obviously not guaranteed.
Wildlife doesn’t operate on a schedule.
But it was a powerful reminder that Mesa Verde isn’t simply a giant outdoor museum.
It’s still a living landscape.
Sometimes that reality gets much closer than expected.
Mama bear and cubs near road to park
Far View Lodge Is Part Of The Experience
Most people think of Far View Lodge as merely a place to sleep.
I think that’s underselling it.
The lodge is part of what makes Mesa Verde special.
No television.
No reliable cell coverage.
No constant notifications.
No social media rabbit holes.
Just you and the landscape.
And what a landscape it is.
The private balcony ended up being one of my favorite features.
The view goes on forever.
Unlike much of modern America, there aren’t subdivisions, strip malls, billboards, or parking lots dominating the horizon.
You simply sit and look.
That may not sound exciting.
In today’s world, it feels almost revolutionary.
The Darkness Deserves Its Own Section
Mesa Verde became an International Dark Sky Park for a reason.
The darkness here is extraordinary.
Not suburban darkness.
Not small-town darkness.
Actual darkness.
The sort of darkness where stars stop being background decoration and become the main attraction.
One thing I loved about Far View Lodge was being able to simply walk onto the balcony and look out into genuine darkness.
There was one distant light visible far out on the horizon.
It might have been an oil rig.
It might have been aliens.
At that distance, either explanation seemed equally plausible.
Everything else was darkness.
Beautiful darkness.
The kind that’s becoming increasingly difficult to find.
No Cell Service Was Actually A Benefit
Normally hotels advertise faster internet and stronger connectivity.
Far View Lodge accidentally sold me on the opposite.
No TV.
No cell service.
No endless stream of distractions.
What started as a minor inconvenience quickly became one of my favorite parts of the trip.
It forced me to pay attention to where I was instead of staring at a screen.
That sounds obvious.
It’s also surprisingly rare.
A Brief History Of Mesa Verde
Mesa Verde was home to the Ancestral Puebloan people for centuries.
Between roughly 600 and 1300 CE, communities established villages, developed agriculture, and eventually built the remarkable cliff dwellings that make the park famous today.
Sites like:
Cliff Palace
Balcony House
Long House
Square Tower House
remain among the most significant archaeological sites in North America.
What makes Mesa Verde so powerful isn’t simply its age.
It’s the preservation.
You don’t just see ruins.
You see evidence of actual lives once lived.
Why A Return Visit Is Worth It
Many national parks are essentially one-and-done experiences.
Mesa Verde isn’t one of them.
The common mistake is assuming you’ve “seen Mesa Verde” because you’ve visited Cliff Palace.
Cliff Palace is incredible.
But it’s only part of the story.
A second trip opens up completely different experiences:
Long House
Square Tower House
Wetherill Mesa
Step House
Badger House Community
Petroglyph Point
Ranger astronomy programs
Dark-sky viewing
In fact, if I returned tomorrow, I’d focus heavily on Wetherill Mesa.
It feels noticeably different from the more famous sections of the park.
Quieter.
More isolated.
More immersive.
Exactly the kind of place that rewards repeat visitors.
Fall Might Be The Sweet Spot
After looking into a possible return trip, I suspect fall may actually be the ideal season.
Why?
Cooler hiking temperatures
Fewer crowds
Better stargazing opportunities
Earlier darkness
More intimate atmosphere
Active ranger programs still running
For Colorado residents, Far View Lodge occasionally offers surprisingly attractive local discounts late in the season, making a return trip even easier to justify.
The combination of cooler weather, smaller crowds, and exceptional night skies sounds almost perfect.
Roadside view leaving the park
What Surprised Me Most
I expected interesting history.
I expected pretty scenery.
I expected educational tours.
What I didn’t expect was the emotional impact.
Standing there looking at structures built centuries ago creates a strange sense of perspective.
Your inbox feels less important.
Your deadlines feel less important.
Your daily frustrations feel less important.
Meanwhile you’re standing in a place built by people whose story still matters hundreds of years later.
That sticks with you.
Pros & Cons
✅ Pros
One of the most unique historical sites in America
Incredible cliff dwellings
Outstanding ranger programs
Amazing dark-sky viewing
Excellent wildlife opportunities
Far View Lodge provides immersive park access
Private balconies with spectacular views
No TV distractions
Limited cell service actually improves the experience
Plenty of reasons for repeat visits
Deeply educational and humbling
❌ Cons
Long drives within the park
Many tours require physical effort
Summer heat can be intense
Limited dining options compared to town
Poor cell service
Not ideal for visitors with significant mobility limitations
Can spoil you for other historical attractions
Final Verdict
Mesa Verde isn’t simply a place you visit.
It’s a place you experience.
The history is remarkable.
The scenery is remarkable.
The wildlife is remarkable.
And Far View Lodge keeps you immersed in that experience instead of sending you back to modern civilization every evening.
Most vacations entertain you.
Mesa Verde teaches you something.
Not just about the Ancestral Puebloan people.
About perspective.
About time.
And about how small our worries can seem when standing in the presence of something that has endured for centuries.
Final Poop Score
💩 1/4 Poops
Excellent crap.
Come for the cliff dwellings.
Stay for the stars.
Leave with a little more humility than you arrived with.
And if Far View Lodge somehow convinces you that a lack of cell service is a luxury feature instead of a problem, don’t worry.
Some get a sniff before being reluctantly accepted.
And then there are Fruitables.
In my house, if I so much as touch a bag, my dogs appear from every corner of the property and line up with military precision.
It’s like the opening scene from The Sound of Music.
One dog appears.
Then another.
Then somehow all of them are standing there in formation waiting for the performance to begin.
The treats themselves are small, crunchy, pumpkin-based biscuits available in several flavors and advertised at only 8 calories per treat.
They’re easy to carry, easy to portion, and apparently dog-crack based on the reactions I get here.
Most importantly, they’ve become one of the few treats that’s consistently survived years of canine taste-testing by my furry panel of highly qualified snack inspectors.
💩 Poop Rating
💩 1 Poop
Excellent crap.
These treats disappear faster than a fresh pile of evidence in a guilty puppy’s backyard.
Why This Review Matters
If you’re researching:
Fruitables review
Fruitables Pumpkin Dog Treats
Low calorie dog treats
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Healthy dog biscuits
Fruitables Pumpkin & Apple review
Fruitables Pumpkin & Blueberry review
Fruitables Pumpkin & Cranberry review
this review combines product research with real-world multi-dog household experience.
What Are Fruitables?
Fruitables are small, crunchy baked dog treats built around pumpkin and complementary fruit flavors.
The current lineup reviewed here includes:
Pumpkin & Apple
Pumpkin & Blueberry
Pumpkin & Cranberry
All three varieties use a similar pumpkin-based formula and are marketed as low-calorie treats at approximately 8 calories per biscuit.
The treats are small, flower-shaped, crunchy biscuits that are easy to carry in a pocket or treat pouch.
Which is convenient because your dog will quickly learn exactly where you’re storing them.
My Dogs’ Official Review
If I touch the bag, they’re immediately interested.
If I open the bag, they appear.
If I shake the bag, they materialize like a furry supernatural event.
I’ve watched dogs sleep through vacuum cleaners, thunderstorms, and delivery trucks.
Fruitables?
Apparently that is where they draw the line.
The reaction is remarkably consistent across all three flavors.
I haven’t found a clear favorite because they seem willing to commit equal acts of snack-related enthusiasm to all of them.
The Calorie Advantage
One of Fruitables’ biggest selling points is the calorie count.
Each biscuit contains roughly 8 calories.
That makes them easy to use for:
Training
Reinforcement
Rewarding good behavior
Bribing dogs during grooming
Convincing dogs not to embarrass you in public
In other words, all the important uses.
Now, “low calorie” doesn’t mean unlimited.
If your dog eats enough of anything, eventually that becomes lunch.
But compared to many larger biscuit-style treats, Fruitables make portion control significantly easier.
They feel like rewards without accidentally turning every training session into an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Size Matters
And yes, for once we’re discussing dog treats.
One thing I personally appreciate is the size.
These aren’t giant dog cookies that require a chainsaw and three business days to consume.
They’re small enough to reward frequently without making every treat feel like Thanksgiving dinner.
For my dogs, I also find the smaller format reassuring compared to some larger treats.
That doesn’t mean they’re choke-proof.
Absolutely not.
Every dog is different.
Some dogs chew.
Some inhale food like they’re trying to break speed records.
But for my crew, the smaller biscuit size feels more manageable than some oversized treats I’ve used in the past.
As always:
Know your dog.
Supervise appropriately.
And remember that some dogs seem to consider chewing a completely optional activity.
Flavor Breakdown
Pumpkin & Apple
This is the classic.
If Fruitables had a flagship flavor, this would probably be it.
The apple complements the pumpkin well without becoming overpowering.
It’s the equivalent of a dependable family sedan.
Not flashy.
Just consistently good.
Pumpkin & Blueberry
This one always seems popular.
Whether the dogs genuinely appreciate blueberry notes or simply enjoy edible objects in general remains scientifically unresolved.
Regardless, the treats disappear quickly.
And that’s usually the highest praise dogs can offer.
Pumpkin & Cranberry
The cranberry version feels slightly more unique.
Like the others, it maintains the same small crunchy texture while offering a different flavor profile.
The important part is that my dogs treat it with exactly the same enthusiasm they treat the other two flavors.
Which is to say:
Not much survives long enough for detailed analysis.
Texture
Fruitables are crunchy.
Not jaw-breaker crunchy.
Not stale-cracker crunchy.
Just enough crunch to feel like a biscuit.
The small format makes them particularly useful for training sessions because dogs can finish them quickly and get back to work without requiring a lengthy chewing intermission.
This keeps momentum going during training.
And lets you feel like the smartest person in the room when your dog suddenly remembers every command you’ve ever taught.
A Brief History of Dog Biscuits
Dog treats have been around surprisingly long.
Commercial dog biscuits generally trace back to the 1800s when entrepreneurs realized dogs were more than willing to accept food in exchange for absolutely minimal effort.
By the early 1900s, bone-shaped biscuits became popular and eventually helped create the modern treat industry.
Today we have everything from dental chews and freeze-dried meat to gourmet cookies and birthday cakes.
Fruitables sits in a more practical category:
Small, everyday treats designed for regular rewards without requiring a second mortgage.
Ingredients & Nutrition
All three reviewed varieties share a similar pumpkin-based foundation and are intended as supplemental treats rather than complete nutrition.
They are:
Pumpkin-based
Oat and barley based
Crunchy baked biscuits
Approximately 8 calories each
One thing worth mentioning is that online ingredient listings appear somewhat inconsistent between retailers and manufacturer pages.
That’s not necessarily unusual in the pet-food world, but it does mean the actual bag in your hand should always be considered the final authority.
If ingredient specifics are important because of allergies or sensitivities, read the package rather than relying entirely on internet listings.
Long-Term Owner Experience
This is one of those products that’s easy to overlook because it simply works.
I’ve purchased plenty of dog treats over the years that looked promising.
Some were ignored.
Some caused digestive complaints.
Some generated initial excitement before becoming “meh.”
Fruitables have remained popular.
That’s harder to achieve than it sounds.
Dogs are surprisingly willing to revise their opinions on snacks.
These have maintained their status.
The bags disappear.
The dogs remain enthusiastic.
The treats keep getting purchased.
That’s usually about as strong a recommendation as I can give.
Pros & Cons
✅ Pros
Dogs absolutely love them
Only about 8 calories per biscuit
Easy to portion
Great for training
Convenient size
Crunchy texture
Multiple flavors available
Bags are easy to store
Less intimidating than giant biscuit treats
Produce impressive levels of canine enthusiasm
❌ Cons
Not choke-proof
Some dogs may still gulp them
Limited flavor differences from the dog’s perspective (“Treat is treat”)
Ingredient information can vary between online listings
Opening a bag may attract dogs from neighboring ZIP codes
Final Verdict
Fruitables are one of those products that don’t try to reinvent the wheel.
They simply execute the basics extremely well.
They’re small.
They’re low calorie.
They’re crunchy.
They’re easy to carry.
And most importantly, dogs seem to genuinely love them.
In my house, they’ve become a staple treat because they strike a nice balance between reward value and calorie control.
The reaction they get from my dogs is honestly kind of ridiculous.
Touch the bag and suddenly you’ve become the most important person in the household.
And if a dog treat can create that level of excitement without turning your dog into a furry beach ball, I’d call that a success.
Final Poop Score
💩 1/4 Poops
Excellent crap.
The dogs love them.
The calorie count is reasonable.
And they disappear faster than a suspicious backyard poop after someone asks, “Who did this?”
The Springs Resort is one of the most famous hot-springs destinations in Colorado, and after visiting, I understand exactly why.
I also understand why some people leave feeling a little conflicted.
This isn’t a one-poop review.
Not because it’s bad.
Far from it.
The mud treatment area was fantastic. The sauna was excellent. The ability to jump from a cold plunge directly into a steaming hot spring was one of my favorite parts of the trip. The property sits right on the San Juan River, and when river access is open, that contrast-therapy experience is one of the resort’s biggest selling points.
But I also couldn’t ignore the downsides.
The facilities feel a bit dated in places.
Several soaking pools felt somewhat stagnant during my visit.
Weekend crowds turned some pools into human soup.
And when you start looking at the price tag, the value proposition becomes harder to defend.
The Springs Resort isn’t selling luxury rooms.
It’s selling access.
Whether that’s worth the premium depends entirely on how much soaking you’re planning to do.
💩 Poop Rating
💩💩 2 Poops
Good crap, but expensive crap.
I enjoyed my stay.
I’d go back.
But I’d be lying if I said I thought the value matched the price.
Why This Review Matters
If you’re researching:
Springs Resort Pagosa Springs review
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Pagosa Springs hot springs resort
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Staying at The Springs Resort
This review combines firsthand experience with extensive background research.
Now, I understand that’s part of the authentic geothermal experience. Sulfur is one of the things that makes hot springs hot springs.
But during my visit, the smell was absolutely everywhere.
Some people probably adapt to it quickly.
I certainly did.
The problem isn’t that you never get used to it.
You do.
The problem is that “getting used to it” and “stopping smelling it” are not the same thing.
During my stay, my brain more or less learned to file the odor into the background, but the sulfur smell remained noticeable almost everywhere on the property. It’s part of the identity of the resort, and if you’re sensitive to strong smells, it’s something you should know before booking.
In other words, I adapted to it.
I just never forgot it was there.
If you’re sensitive to strong smells, do not dismiss this as a minor detail.
This could become one of the defining memories of your trip.
The Hot Springs Experience
This is the reason people come.
And to be fair, it’s mostly excellent.
The resort has roughly fifty pools and water features spread throughout the property.
The variety is impressive.
You can bounce between:
Warm soaking pools
Hot soaking pools
Cold-plunge pools
Wellness pools
River-access areas
Adults-only zones
The contrast therapy options are where the resort really shines.
Jumping from cold water directly into a hot spring is fantastic.
It’s the closest I’ve come to understanding why Vikings seemed so enthusiastic about life.
Unfortunately, river access was mostly closed during my most recent visit, which removed one of the coolest aspects of the experience.
The Mud and Sauna Experience
This was easily one of the highlights.
The mud area was fantastic.
The sauna was equally impressive.
If you’re already paying Springs Resort prices, I strongly recommend taking advantage of these amenities.
Compared to some of the overcrowded pools, these areas felt much more like a genuine wellness experience rather than communal soup preparation.
The Crowding Problem
Let’s talk about the elephant in the hot tub.
Crowds.
Weekend crowds can be rough.
During busy periods, some pools became far more crowded than I would have liked.
It’s hard to achieve peak relaxation when you’re sharing a small soaking pool with enough strangers to form a softball team.
The resort’s biggest advantage is that overnight guests receive access outside public hours.
If you’re staying on property, take advantage of early mornings and late evenings.
That’s when the experience becomes significantly more enjoyable.
Rooms and Facilities
This was one of the more mixed parts of the trip.
The newest rooms are substantially nicer than the older inventory.
If you’re spending significant money here, I would absolutely prioritize one of the newer accommodations whenever possible.
The older facilities aren’t terrible.
But they don’t always feel like accommodations charging premium resort prices.
That’s where the value conversation starts getting uncomfortable.
The rooms are fine.
The pools are the attraction.
Keep your expectations aligned accordingly.
Is It Romantic?
Honestly?
Yes.
But not in the way many people imagine.
This is not a private hot-tub retreat.
Most pools are communal.
Most soaking areas are shared.
Most experiences involve other people.
What makes it romantic is the atmosphere.
The mountains.
The river.
The steam rising at night.
The ability to spend hours soaking together while doing absolutely nothing productive.
If that sounds appealing, you’ll probably have a great time.
If you’re imagining private pools and total seclusion, you may be disappointed.
Food and Dining
The resort has significantly improved its dining options over the years.
You can easily spend an entire day moving between:
Pools
Meals
Drinks
Wellness activities
without ever needing to leave the property.
The problem?
Pricing.
The nicer dining options are good.
They’re also expensive.
Very expensive.
The food wasn’t bad by any means, but I didn’t walk away thinking I had discovered the culinary bargain of the century.
Is It Worth the Money?
This is the hardest question.
And honestly, my answer is:
Sometimes.
If you’re the type of person who plans to:
Soak repeatedly
Use the wellness facilities
Take advantage of early and late access
Spend most of your vacation on property
Then the overnight stay makes sense.
If you’re planning:
One soak
A quick visit
Mostly hiking and sightseeing
then the economics become much harder to justify.
At that point, staying somewhere less expensive and buying a day pass may be the smarter move.
The Springs Resort works best when the resort itself is the vacation.
A Brief History of Pagosa Springs
Long before tourists arrived carrying flip-flops and reusable water bottles, people came here for the geothermal waters.
The Mother Spring remains the centerpiece of the entire area and is officially recognized as the deepest measured geothermal hot spring in the world.
Or at least the deepest anyone has successfully measured.
The last major measurement exceeded 1,000 feet without reaching the bottom.
Apparently even science eventually looked down the hole and said:
“Good enough.”
The modern resort grew around this remarkable natural feature and has continued expanding into the large wellness destination it is today.
While visiting, we did encounter a local who had enjoyed enough adult beverages to confidently explain that the “real” hot spring is supposedly underground somewhere and that the visible Mother Spring is merely a tourist attraction.
Since this theory arrived with approximately the same level of supporting evidence as most late-night bar conversations, I wasn’t inclined to rewrite the history books based on it.
The documented geothermal spring on the property remains the centerpiece of the modern resort and the reason Pagosa Springs became famous in the first place.
Best Time to Visit
For me?
Fall wins.
Cool weather plus hot springs is a nearly unbeatable combination.
The aspens are beautiful.
The temperatures make soaking more enjoyable.
And the entire atmosphere feels more magical.
Winter would be a close second.
Few things sound better than soaking in geothermal water while snow falls around you.
Summer is still enjoyable, but hot weather naturally reduces some of the appeal of sitting in very hot water.
Pros & Cons
✅ Pros
Fantastic hot springs experience
Excellent mud treatment area
Great sauna facilities
Cold plunge and hot spring combinations are amazing
Beautiful riverside location
Excellent for couples
Large variety of pools
Overnight access provides a major advantage
Wellness programs continue expanding
Easy walkability around downtown Pagosa Springs
❌ Cons
Expensive
Value doesn’t always match the pricing
Facilities feel dated in places
Sulfur smell can be overwhelming
Weekend crowds can significantly impact the experience
Some pools felt stagnant during my visit
Not especially private despite its romantic reputation
Food and drinks add up quickly
River access may not always be fully available
Final Verdict
The Springs Resort gave me some genuinely memorable experiences.
The mud treatment was fantastic.
The sauna was fantastic.
The contrast therapy opportunities were fantastic.
The setting is beautiful.
The crowds and pricing, however, prevent me from calling it excellent value.
If money were no object, I’d recommend it without hesitation.
But money unfortunately exists, and The Springs Resort certainly knows that.
I’d return.
I’d recommend it.
I’d just recommend going in with realistic expectations.
You’re paying for access to an incredible geothermal resource.
You’re not necessarily paying for one of the most luxurious resort experiences in Colorado.
Those are two very different things.
Final Poop Score
💩💩 2/4 Poops
Good crap.
The hot springs are excellent.
The wellness experience is excellent.
The value? Not so much.
Come for the soaking, the mud, and the cold plunges.
Just don’t expect your wallet to leave feeling quite as relaxed as you do. 🌋💩🏔️
If you own a dog with an undercoat, you already know that shedding season is less of a season and more of a hostile occupation of your home.
The furniture grows fur.
Your clothes grow fur.
Your food somehow grows fur.
Eventually, you begin to suspect that your dog is quietly manufacturing a second dog and distributing the parts throughout the house.
The FURminator Undercoat deShedding Tool is one of the most effective weapons I have found for fighting back.
It reaches through the outer coat and pulls out loose undercoat before that fur migrates to your carpet, couch, bed, clothing, vehicle, and possibly lungs. During heavy shedding periods, the amount of hair this tool removes can be both impressive and slightly disturbing.
Used correctly, it works extremely well.
The important phrase is used correctly.
This is not a soft brush that you can mindlessly drag over the same area for half an hour. It is a specialized grooming edge, and too much pressure or too many repeated passes can irritate the skin or damage the coat.
My technique is to imagine that the tool is the dog’s back foot during a scratch. Use light strokes through a small arc, covering an area gradually instead of digging downward or repeatedly scraping the same spot.
That approach removes piles of loose undercoat without turning grooming into strip mining.
💩 Poop Rating
💩 1 Poop
Excellent crap.
This thing removes loose undercoat so efficiently that it may leave you wondering how your dog had any room beneath the skin for organs.
Why This Review Matters
This review is for people researching:
FURminator review
FURminator for dogs
Best dog deshedding tool
FURminator Medium Long Hair
How to use a FURminator safely
FURminator coat damage
Best brush for dog undercoat
Dog shedding-season grooming
FURminator versus undercoat rake
It combines product research with practical owner experience, including the technique I use to reduce pulling, overworking, and discomfort.
What the FURminator Actually Does
The FURminator is not an ordinary dog brush.
It is designed to pass through the outer coat and collect loose undercoat that is ready to shed.
That distinction matters.
A normal brush is useful for surface hair, everyday grooming, and distributing natural oils. A slicker can help with tangles and coat maintenance. An undercoat rake can open dense coats and loosen packed undercoat.
The FURminator is the cleanup crew that arrives when the undercoat has decided to abandon ship.
On an appropriate coat, it removes hair that an ordinary surface brushing can leave behind.
It does not stop the biological shedding process. It simply collects much of the loose coat before your house does.
Choosing the Correct Version
The version covered here is officially named the:
FURminator Undercoat deShedding Tool Medium Dog Long Hair
The wording can be confusing.
Medium refers to the size of the dog, not the length of the coat.
Long Hair identifies the coat-length version.
The current medium long-hair model is intended for dogs weighing approximately 25 to 50 pounds with coats around two inches or longer. The working edge is approximately 2.65 inches wide.
FURminator also makes different sizes and separate short-hair versions. Cats have their own models as well.
That is important because this is not a one-size-fits-every-furry-thing tool.
Buying the wrong version may make the experience less effective, less comfortable, or both.
Build Quality and Design
The FURminator is a relatively simple tool, but the design is much more thoughtful than it first appears.
Its primary components include:
Curved stainless-steel deshedding edge
Skin Guard contour
Ergonomic grip
Thumb-operated FURejector
Built-in Edge Guard for storage
The curved edge follows the shape of the animal better than a completely straight blade. The Skin Guard is intended to reduce digging at the edges, while the handle gives you good control over pressure and direction.
The FURejector button pushes collected hair out of the teeth.
That sounds like a small convenience until you have removed enough fur to construct a reasonably convincing dog toupee.
Without the ejector, you would constantly stop and pull compacted hair from the edge. With it, you press the button, discard the fur, and continue.
It is simple, but genuinely useful.
Deshedding Performance
This is where the FURminator earns its reputation.
On a dog with the correct type of shedding undercoat, the tool can remove an absurd amount of loose hair.
The first few passes may look normal.
Then the undercoat begins coming out.
And keeps coming out.
And continues coming out until you start wondering whether you have accidentally voided the dog’s structural warranty.
During shedding season, it can make a dramatic difference in the amount of loose fur floating around the house. It will not eliminate shedding, but it can intercept an impressive amount of hair before that hair attaches itself to everything you own.
The FURejector also makes it practical to work through a large grooming session without constantly cleaning the tool by hand.
This is not subtle performance.
You can see exactly what it has removed.
Usually in a rapidly expanding pile beside you.
My Technique: Think Like the Dog’s Back Foot
Some negative reviews report discomfort, scratching, coat thinning, or irritation.
I can understand how that happens.
The tool is effective, and that effectiveness encourages people to keep going. Hair continues appearing, so the natural reaction is to apply more pressure and make more passes.
That is where the trouble starts.
The best way I have found to use it is to imagine that the FURminator is the dog’s back foot during a scratch.
Use:
Light contact
Short strokes
A small arc of movement
The direction of natural hair growth
Limited passes over each area
Think light strikes, not deep raking.
You are trying to catch loose undercoat, not dig for buried treasure.
I also move gradually around the body instead of repeatedly attacking one section just because it continues producing fur. The fact that hair is still appearing does not mean the area needs another twenty passes.
Sometimes enough is simply enough.
Can It Break Up Mats?
With good technique, the FURminator may help loosen small areas of lightly packed coat and minor tangling.
However, I would not treat it as a true dematting tool.
There is a meaningful difference between loose undercoat that has begun clumping and a tight mat pulling against the skin.
For minor packed areas, light, controlled work can help. For a genuine mat, forcing the toothed edge through it can tug the skin, break healthy coat, bend the teeth, or make the dog understandably unhappy.
Dense or tangled coats are better prepared with an appropriate comb or undercoat rake before finishing with the FURminator.
Severe mats, especially those close to the skin, belong in the hands of a professional groomer or veterinarian.
In short:
It can help break up minor hairy traffic jams.
It should not be used as a machete.
Which Coats Work Best?
The FURminator works best on dogs with a real shedding undercoat.
Good candidates include many:
Retrievers
Shepherds
Huskies
Corgis
Collies
Australian Shepherds
Double-coated mixed breeds
Other dogs with dense seasonal or continuous shedding
The exact model should correspond to the dog’s size and coat length.
The tool is a poor choice for many:
Non-shedding breeds
Continuously growing coats
Corded coats
Very delicate or silky coats
Single coats with little undercoat
Inflamed or injured skin
Heavily matted coats
If you are unsure whether the dog has a suitable coat, ask a groomer or veterinarian before using it.
The FURminator is excellent at its intended job.
That does not make it excellent for every animal wearing fur.
Comfort and Safety
Technique matters more with this product than with an ordinary grooming brush.
The coat should be:
Completely dry
Free of significant mats
Clean enough for the teeth to move smoothly
Covering healthy, uninjured skin
Always work in the direction of hair growth.
Use less pressure than you think you need.
Be particularly careful around:
Belly
Legs
Tail
Genitals
Anus
Bony areas
Loose or sensitive skin
The manufacturer suggests limited weekly sessions rather than constant use. Treat that as a maximum operating range, not a quota you need to fill.
A dog does not need twenty minutes of deshedding simply because twenty minutes remain on the imaginary grooming clock.
Stop when you have made reasonable progress.
Also stop if the skin looks red, the tool encounters increasing resistance, the outer coat looks shortened, or the dog shows signs of discomfort.
The objective is to remove loose undercoat, not prove your commitment to the task.
Does It Cut the Healthy Coat?
The tool is designed to catch loose undercoat without cutting healthy, attached hair.
However, misuse can still break, pull, or thin the coat.
This is why pressure and repetition matter.
A pile of soft, fluffy undercoat is normal.
Patchy thinning is not.
Red skin is not.
Visibly shortened guard hairs are not.
The biggest danger is that the tool keeps producing hair, encouraging the user to keep scraping. The visible results can turn grooming into a strange competition against the dog’s coat.
Do not try to continue until absolutely no hair appears.
You may get there eventually, but the dog could be bald.
FURminator Versus Other Grooming Tools
FURminator
Best for periodically extracting loose undercoat from a dry, detangled, shedding coat.
Its weakness is that it is easy to overuse.
Undercoat Rake
Better for opening a dense coat, loosening packed undercoat, and preparing minor tangles.
It may be slower, but it can provide more control in thick or complicated coats.
Slicker Brush
Useful for normal brushing, feathering, surface maintenance, and some detangling.
It may not reach deeply enough to remove substantial undercoat by itself.
Metal Comb
Excellent for checking whether a coat is truly detangled down to the skin.
It is less efficient for removing large quantities of loose undercoat.
The ideal grooming kit may include more than one of these tools.
The FURminator does not replace the others.
It specializes.
Shedding Season Performance
Some dogs have a predictable shedding season.
Other dogs apparently recognize all twelve months as a valid opportunity to redecorate the house with fur.
Either way, this tool is extremely useful.
During a heavy seasonal coat blow, repeated short sessions are better than one enormous excavation. That gives the dog’s skin a break and reduces the temptation to overwork one area.
For year-round shedders, occasional maintenance sessions can keep loose undercoat from reaching critical mass.
Will the house become completely fur-free?
Of course not.
That would require magic, industrial air filtration, and possibly relocating the dog.
But the FURminator can substantially reduce how much loose coat is waiting to launch itself into the environment.
Cleaning and Maintenance
Maintaining the FURminator is simple.
After use:
Press the FURejector to remove collected fur.
Pull out any hair the ejector leaves behind.
Clean accumulated dander or grease from the metal edge with warm water and mild soap when needed.
Dry the tool completely.
Engage the built-in Edge Guard before storage.
Store it where it will not be dropped or damaged.
The teeth should remain straight, smooth, and secure.
Stop using the tool if you find:
Bent teeth
Broken teeth
Sharp damage
Corrosion
A loose head
A cracked handle
A malfunctioning mechanism that interferes with safe use
The manufacturer does not provide a normal lubrication procedure, so cleaning and thorough drying are the safest maintenance approach.
Durability and Repairability
The FURminator has no motor, charger, battery, software, or subscription plan.
Thank goodness.
Its basic mechanical design means it can potentially last for many years if it is cleaned, dried, and protected from impact.
Long-lasting owner examples exist, including tools reportedly used for more than a decade. That makes extended service believable, but it does not establish a guaranteed lifetime for every version.
The current tool’s main weakness is repairability.
Replacement edges, ejector plates, handles, and internal mechanism parts are not broadly available as official consumer parts. If the edge bends, the handle breaks, or the ejector mechanism fails badly, replacing the complete tool is usually the practical answer.
Fortunately, there is not much to break if the tool is treated properly.
Avoid dropping it.
Avoid forcing it through mats.
Avoid storing it wet.
Those three habits should prevent a considerable amount of avoidable crap.
Watch Out for Counterfeits
FURminator warns that imitation tools may perform poorly, break more easily, or present an injury risk.
That matters because this product depends on the quality and consistency of the working edge.
An extremely cheap listing from a questionable marketplace seller may not be the deal it appears to be.
When a toothed metal edge is going directly against an animal’s coat and skin, saving a few dollars on a mystery copy is not an especially attractive gamble.
Buy from an established retailer or authorized seller.
Sometimes cheap crap is just crap.
A Brief History of Deshedding Tools
People were grooming animals long before product designers began giving brushes aggressive names.
Traditional grooming relied on:
Combs
Bristle brushes
Curry combs
Shedding blades
Stripping tools
Undercoat rakes
The basic goal was always similar: remove dirt, loose coat, tangles, and debris without damaging healthy hair or skin.
As grooming tools became more specialized, different designs emerged for different layers and coat types. Undercoat rakes reached beneath the surface, shedding blades covered broad areas, and slickers helped maintain and detangle many coat textures.
The original FURminator design grew from a toothed deshedding edge mounted in an ergonomic handle. Later versions added the FURejector so collected hair could be expelled with one hand.
The modern version added a curved edge, contour-following Skin Guard, revised grip, updated ejector, and built-in Edge Guard.
In other words, humanity spent centuries developing animal-grooming tools and eventually created one capable of producing a fur pile large enough to frighten the neighbors.
Progress.
Pros & Cons
✅ Pros
Removes astonishing amounts of loose undercoat
Excellent during seasonal coat blowing
Useful for dogs that shed throughout the year
FURejector makes clearing accumulated hair easy
Comfortable handle provides good control
Curved edge follows the body better than older straight designs
Simple to clean and maintain
Can potentially last for many years
Reduces the amount of fur deposited around the house
Works very well when paired with patient, light technique
❌ Cons
Easy to overuse
Excessive pressure can irritate skin or damage coat
Not appropriate for every coat type
Not a true dematting tool
Should not be forced through tight mats
Does not replace a slicker, comb, or undercoat rake
Limited availability of replacement parts
Counterfeit versions complicate bargain shopping
The fur pile may cause you to question whether your dog has secretly been replaced by a smaller dog
Final Verdict
The FURminator Undercoat deShedding Tool is one of the most effective grooming tools I keep in my dog-accessory arsenal.
During shedding season, it can be the difference between manageable fur and watching tumbleweeds roll through the living room.
It removes loose undercoat extremely well.
It is comfortable to hold.
It is easy to clear.
And with good technique, it can work through dense shedding coat without causing unnecessary discomfort.
The key is restraint.
Use light strokes.
Work through a small arc.
Move to a different area instead of repeatedly digging into one spot.
Think like the dog’s back foot during a gentle scratch, not like a landscaper removing tree roots.
Used properly, this is neither a gimmick nor an ordinary brush with fancy branding.
It is a genuinely effective specialist tool.
Final Poop Score
💩 1/4 Poops
Excellent crap.
The FURminator gets the loose crap out of the dog’s coat before that crap gets all over your house.
And considering the sheer volume of fur some dogs produce, that makes it one seriously valuable piece of crap.
Every now and then a guitar comes along that makes you stop and ask:
“Wait… this costs HOW much?”
That was my reaction to the Epiphone Inspired by Gibson Custom 1957 SJ-200.
This isn’t one of those budget guitars that’s “good for the money.”
I hate that phrase.
Usually “good for the money” means:
“It’s not completely terrible if you squint hard enough and lower your expectations.”
The 1957 SJ-200 is different.
It’s simply a good guitar.
Period.
It looks expensive.
It feels expensive.
It sounds expensive.
Then you look at the price tag and discover it costs significantly less than the Gibson version that inspired it.
The result is one of the strongest values currently available in the acoustic guitar world.
💩 Poop Rating
💩 1 Poop
Excellent crap.
This guitar delivers so much of the SJ-200 experience that it makes you seriously question how much money you’d need to spend to gain a meaningful improvement.
Why This Review Matters
If you’re researching:
Epiphone Inspired by Gibson Custom 1957 SJ-200 Review
Epiphone SJ-200 vs Gibson SJ-200
Best acoustic guitar under $2,000
Is the Epiphone 1957 SJ-200 worth it?
Epiphone Inspired by Gibson Custom review
Best value jumbo acoustic guitar
this review combines research, owner experiences, and real-world impressions.
First Impressions
Let’s get the obvious thing out of the way.
This guitar is gorgeous.
Absolutely gorgeous.
The huge Super Jumbo body.
The ornate pickguard.
The gold hardware.
The crown inlays.
The moustache bridge.
The figured maple back and sides.
This is not a subtle guitar.
This is the acoustic equivalent of showing up to a black-tie event in a classic Cadillac.
You don’t buy an SJ-200 because you’re trying to be invisible.
You buy an SJ-200 because they’re beautiful.
The Epiphone absolutely captures that vibe.
Build Quality
This isn’t a cheap plywood box wearing fancy makeup.
The 2024 model features:
Solid thermally-aged Sitka spruce top
Solid figured maple back and sides
Scalloped X-bracing
Bone nut
Bone saddle
Bone bridge pins
Maple neck
L.R. Baggs electronics
That’s an impressive specification sheet at any price.
It’s downright ridiculous at this price.
One of the biggest reasons this model has created so much excitement is because Epiphone didn’t cheap out on the important stuff.
The expensive look isn’t hiding a bargain-bin construction.
The build is genuinely serious.
Sound
This is where the guitar won me over.
Some guitars look incredible and sound disappointing.
Some sound incredible and look boring.
The SJ-200 manages both.
The best word I can use is:
Big.
Not boomy.
Not muddy.
Big.
Strumming chords fills a room.
Open chords have authority.
Flatpicking has punch.
Fingerstyle passages still maintain clarity.
It sounds like a guitar that should cost substantially more than it does.
Is it identical to a Gibson Custom SJ-200?
No.
Of course not.
The Gibson projects harder, has a little more complexity, and benefits from construction details that cost real money.
But that’s not the right question.
The right question is:
Does it sound close enough that you’ll smile every time you pick it up?
Absolutely.
Playability
The scale length is a full 25.5 inches, so there’s a little more string tension than some Gibson acoustics.
That gives notes a nice snap and clarity.
The neck profile may feel a little substantial for players who prefer thin electric-style necks.
Personally, I thought it matched the character of the instrument.
An SJ-200 isn’t supposed to feel tiny.
The biggest adjustment for some players is simply the size of the body.
This thing is enormous.
If you’re smaller in stature or spend most of your time on parlor guitars, the SJ-200 can feel like parking a school bus in your lap.
For everyone else, that’s part of the charm.
The Value Proposition
This is where the guitar becomes a superstar.
Every reviewer always wants to compare it to a Gibson SJ-200.
Which is understandable.
But here’s what matters:
You can buy this guitar without having to explain a second mortgage to your spouse.
That’s incredibly important.
The Gibson version is fantastic.
It should be.
It costs several times more.
The shocking thing is how much of the visual appeal, feel, and tonal character survived the trip down to the Epiphone price bracket.
This isn’t a budget imitation.
It’s more like getting 85–90% of the experience for a fraction of the cost.
And that’s where the value becomes extraordinary.
Long-Term Ownership
Because these weren’t released until 2024, nobody can honestly tell you what ownership looks like in twenty years.
Anyone claiming otherwise is full of crap.
What we do know is:
Build quality appears consistently strong
Structural complaints are very rare so far
Electronics have a good reputation
The included hardshell case is excellent
Owners are overwhelmingly happy
The biggest enemy isn’t the guitar.
It’s humidity.
Like every solid-wood acoustic, this thing wants stable humidity levels.
Treat it properly and it’ll likely reward you.
Ignore humidity and you’ll eventually be posting angry messages on guitar forums blaming the factory for what your furnace did.
Maintenance
The good news?
There isn’t much to do.
Keep it humidified.
Change strings.
Clean it occasionally.
Don’t leave it in a hot car.
Don’t leave it next to a heater.
Don’t use it as a canoe paddle.
Basic acoustic guitar ownership stuff.
The included Baggs pickup system is also refreshingly simple compared to many onboard systems.
If you perform live, it’ll do its job without requiring a PhD in menu navigation.
A Brief History of the SJ-200
The SJ-200 lineage goes all the way back to 1937.
It was designed as Gibson’s flagship flat-top acoustic.
Over the decades, it became associated with artists including:
Elvis Presley
Bob Dylan
George Harrison
Jimmy Page
Emmylou Harris
The model became famous for combining huge visual presence with huge sound.
The Epiphone version isn’t pretending to be a forensic recreation of every detail from the original.
Instead, it captures what players actually love about the SJ-200:
The maple construction
The giant Super Jumbo body
The visual style
The projection
The feel
And honestly, that’s what most people are after anyway.
Pros & Cons
✅ Pros
Outstanding value
Gorgeous appearance
All-solid wood construction
Huge, rich acoustic sound
High-quality Baggs electronics
Comfortable modern playability
Excellent hardware package
Includes hardshell case
Feels much more expensive than it is
One of the best-looking guitars Epiphone has ever produced
❌ Cons
Very large body size
May be uncomfortable for smaller players
Neck may feel chunky to some players
Not a perfect Gibson Custom replacement
Long-term durability history is still developing
Can trigger dangerous thoughts like buying more guitars
Final Verdict
The Epiphone Inspired by Gibson Custom 1957 SJ-200 is exactly the sort of product I love reviewing.
It doesn’t rely on hype.
It doesn’t rely on gimmicks.
It simply delivers far more guitar than its price tag suggests.
It’s beautiful.
It’s fun to play.
It sounds fantastic.
And every time I pick it up, I find myself thinking:
“This thing had no business being this good for the money.”
If you’re shopping for a premium jumbo acoustic without entering financially irresponsible Gibson Custom territory, this guitar deserves a spot near the top of your list.
Final Poop Score
💩
Excellent crap.
A giant, gorgeous, room-filling acoustic guitar that sounds like it costs far more than it actually does.
In the guitar world, that’s some seriously good shit. 🎸💩
Some products disappear into the background so completely you barely think about them.
That’s probably the highest compliment a guitar stand can receive.
A guitar stand has one job:
Don’t drop my expensive crap.
The Hercules GS412B Plus manages that while also being portable, easy to use, surprisingly sturdy, and perhaps most importantly for guitar owners, remarkably kind to guitar finishes.
I’ve owned cheaper stands.
I’ve owned questionable stands.
I’ve owned stands that made me wonder whether the engineer’s design process consisted primarily of shrugging and hoping for the best.
This isn’t one of those stands.
The Hercules is the stand I trust with guitars I actually care about.
And that’s saying something.
💩 Poop Rating
💩 1 Poop
Excellent crap.
This is the kind of product that solves problems instead of creating them.
No drama.
No tip-overs.
No mystery scratches.
No finish damage.
Just a stand quietly doing its damn job.
Why This Review Matters
If you’re researching:
Hercules GS412B review
best guitar stand
guitar stand for acoustic guitars
guitar stand for electric guitars
safest guitar stand
guitar stand for expensive guitars
This review combines real-world ownership with technical research and long-term owner experiences.
Build Quality
The GS412B Plus isn’t trying to reinvent the wheel.
It’s a tripod stand.
But it’s an exceptionally well-executed tripod stand.
You get:
Auto Grip neck retention system
Tripod base
Adjustable backrest
One-hand height adjustment
Folding design
33-pound weight capacity
The result feels substantially better built than the bargain-bin stands hanging next to starter packs in music stores.
When you place a guitar into the stand, the neck yoke automatically closes around it.
There’s something incredibly satisfying about that.
Like the stand is saying:
“Relax, I’ve got this.”
My Favorite Feature: Finish Safety
This is why I originally bought it.
And why I’m still using it.
Many guitar players eventually discover a terrifying fact:
Not all guitar stands are friendly to guitar finishes.
Certain stand materials can leave impressions, discoloration, chemical reactions, or ugly marks on delicate finishes over time.
That’s annoying on a cheap guitar.
It’s absolutely bowel-loosening on a guitar worth several thousand dollars.
The Hercules stand uses specialized foam contact surfaces designed to minimize finish reactions.
My own experience has been outstanding.
I’ve never had this stand leave marks, stains, impressions, discoloration, or damage on any of my guitars.
Considering how much time some of them spend hanging on the stand, that’s worth every penny.
The Nitrocellulose Discussion
If you’re a Gibson owner, you’ve probably heard the horror stories.
Nitrocellulose finishes can react with:
Stands
Wall hangers
Straps
Rubber
Vinyl
Random objects that apparently exist solely to ruin your day
The reality is that no manufacturer can realistically guarantee compatibility with every nitrocellulose finish ever created.
My advice?
For modern polyurethane and polyester finishes, I wouldn’t lose any sleep.
For a rare vintage Gibson worth more than my car, I’d still inspect occasionally because that’s simply good practice.
The stand has been completely trouble-free in my experience, but expensive nitro guitars always deserve extra caution regardless of who made the stand.
Stability
A guitar stand that collapses is basically a guitar catapult.
Fortunately, that’s not what we have here.
The Hercules feels extremely stable.
The Auto Grip system keeps the guitar secure.
The tripod base feels planted.
The guitar simply stays where it’s supposed to stay.
I’ve never looked at this stand and thought:
“Well, that’s concerning.”
I have definitely had that thought with cheaper stands.
Not with this one.
Portability
Another thing I love about this stand is how easy it is to transport.
It folds down quickly.
It’s lightweight.
It takes up very little space.
Whether you’re moving between rooms, heading to a rehearsal, going to a gig, or just looking for something that won’t clutter the house, the GS412B Plus is incredibly convenient.
Good stands disappear when you need to carry them.
This one does.
Long-Term Reliability
The long-term owner feedback on these stands is overwhelmingly positive.
Owners repeatedly praise:
Stability
Build quality
Ease of use
Neck security
Versatility
My own experience matches that perfectly.
It’s one of those purchases you make and then basically stop thinking about for years.
You set your guitar down.
You pick it back up.
The stand works.
Day after day.
Year after year.
Honestly, that’s exactly what I want from gear.
A Brief History of Guitar Stands
Before modern guitar stands, musicians mostly leaned instruments against walls and prayed to whatever deity protects expensive musical equipment.
Early stands focused primarily on support.
Then came portability.
Then came locking and retention systems.
The Hercules Auto Grip design represents one of the biggest leaps in stand design because it actively helps keep the guitar from falling.
Instead of relying entirely on balance, the weight of the guitar automatically closes the retaining arms around the neck.
Humanity has accomplished many great things.
Preventing guitars from face-planting into hardwood floors ranks surprisingly high on that list.
Pros & Cons
✅ Pros
Extremely stable
Auto Grip system works beautifully
Portable and lightweight
Easy one-handed operation
Safe on all of my guitars so far
Works with acoustic, electric, bass and classical guitars
Excellent build quality
Great for oddly shaped guitars
Folds quickly for transport
Gives me confidence leaving valuable guitars out
❌ Cons
Costs more than cheap guitar stands
More moving parts than basic stands
Nitrocellulose compatibility can never be guaranteed
Replacement parts can be difficult to find
Once you buy one, all your cheap stands suddenly feel terrible
Final Verdict
The Hercules GS412B Plus is one of those rare products that earns a recommendation without a bunch of caveats attached.
It’s portable.
It’s sturdy.
It’s thoughtfully designed.
It protects guitars instead of endangering them.
Most importantly, it doesn’t leave nasty marks on my guitars, which is one of the biggest reasons I continue using it.
I’ve trusted it with instruments I genuinely care about, and it’s never given me a reason to regret that decision.
If you’re looking for a guitar stand that’s secure, compact, finish-friendly, and built by people who clearly understand what guitar players worry about, this is excellent crap.
Final Poop Score
💩 1/5 Poops
Excellent crap.
Because the only thing that should be dropping is your jaw when you play the guitar… not the guitar itself. 🎸💩
If you’ve ever woken up to discover your dog peed on the couch, the rug, the dog bed, or somehow all three at once, you know that urinary incontinence can turn your home into a surprise water park.
That’s where Incurin comes in.
Unlike miracle supplements that promise the moon and deliver a puddle, Incurin is an FDA-approved veterinary medication with actual clinical evidence behind it. It’s specifically designed for one of the most common causes of urinary leakage in spayed female dogs: urethral sphincter mechanism incompetence (USMI).
In plain English: the bladder valve gets a little lazy after spaying, and pee starts escaping while your dog sleeps.
The good news?
For many dogs, Incurin works remarkably well.
The FDA approval studies showed significantly better results than placebo, veterinary experience spans decades internationally, and thousands of owners report their dogs went from leaking nightly to sleeping dry.
That’s not bullshit.
That’s legitimately impressive.
💩 Poop Rating
💩 1 Poop
This is good shit.
Not only does it help stop unwanted puddles, it can dramatically improve quality of life for both dogs and owners.
When a product’s biggest job is preventing your dog from accidentally peeing everywhere, getting a one-poop rating is about as high as praise gets around here.
Why This Review Matters
This review combines:
FDA approval data
Veterinary research
Long-term clinical experience
Owner feedback
Merck product information
to answer questions like:
Does Incurin actually work?
Is Incurin safe?
What are the side effects?
Is Incurin better than Proin?
Can dogs stay on it long-term?
Is it worth the cost?
What Exactly Is Incurin?
Incurin contains estriol, a naturally occurring estrogen.
Before you panic and imagine your dog becoming a tiny hormone experiment, it’s important to understand what it’s treating.
Many spayed female dogs develop a weakening of the muscles that help keep urine inside the bladder.
Think of it like a worn-out gasket.
The bladder is fine.
The urine is fine.
The plumbing just isn’t sealing properly anymore.
The result?
Your dog naps peacefully while your carpet quietly develops a moisture problem.
Incurin helps restore urethral function and improve bladder control.
How Well Does It Work?
This is where things get interesting.
A lot of pet products rely on testimonials.
Incurin actually has clinical trials.
In the FDA approval study:
66% of treated dogs achieved treatment success
Only 37% of placebo dogs achieved the same outcome
That’s a meaningful difference.
When researchers followed dogs longer:
Around 93% were improved or continent after six weeks
Now, that’s not a placebo-controlled number, so it’s not as scientifically strong as the earlier study.
But it’s still encouraging.
The biggest takeaway?
For the right diagnosis, Incurin works surprisingly often.
My Favorite Thing About Incurin
It solves a problem that many owners mistakenly assume is just part of aging.
I’ve seen countless people accept nightly puddles as inevitable.
They buy waterproof blankets.
Wash bedding constantly.
Put down puppy pads.
Start calculating urine absorption rates like amateur civil engineers.
Then they discover Incurin.
Suddenly the leaks stop.
Turns out the dog wasn’t getting old.
The bladder valve was simply phoning it in.
The Long-Term Owner Experience
This is one of the strongest parts of Incurin’s story.
Many medications work great for two weeks.
The real question is:
What happens after six months?
Or two years?
Or four years?
Available long-term field data includes dogs treated for years, with some reported exposure extending beyond three years.
The overall pattern is encouraging:
Common praise
Leakage often improves quickly
Dogs sleep dry
Bedding stays dry
Owners regain sanity
Quality of life improves dramatically
Common complaints
Appetite changes
Occasional vomiting
Breakthrough leakage
Some dogs requiring dose adjustments
A minority of dogs simply not responding
No medication works for every patient.
But the long-term experience here is much stronger than many veterinary drugs.
Side Effects: The Crap You Should Know
Every medication has potential downsides.
Pretending otherwise is marketing.
The most common side effects include:
Decreased appetite
Vomiting
Swollen vulva
Mammary enlargement
Increased attractiveness to male dogs
Yes.
Your spayed dog may suddenly become surprisingly popular.
Apparently even dogs have that one friend who can’t read social cues.
Potentially more serious concerns include:
Behavioral changes
Hair loss
Blood abnormalities
Estrogen-related complications
These appear uncommon, but they’re why veterinary monitoring matters.
Incurin vs. Proin
This is the comparison most owners care about.
Incurin
Works through estrogen effects.
Pros
FDA approved
Excellent for hormone-responsive incontinence
Often effective at low maintenance doses
Doesn’t raise blood pressure
Cons
Estrogen-related side effects
Only approved for spayed female dogs
Proin
Works by tightening the urinary sphincter through adrenergic stimulation.
Pros
Effective for many dogs
Can be used more broadly
Cons
May raise blood pressure
Can cause restlessness
Behavioral side effects can occur
Which is better?
Honestly?
That’s like asking whether a hammer or screwdriver is better.
The answer depends on what you’re trying to fix.
Some dogs respond beautifully to Incurin.
Others respond better to Proin.
Some veterinarians use one first and switch if necessary.
There is no definitive head-to-head study proving one universally beats the other.
Maintenance and Repairability
Wait.
A maintenance section for a pill?
Damn right.
The maintenance isn’t for the tablet.
It’s for the diagnosis.
If a dog that was previously controlled suddenly starts leaking again, don’t automatically assume the medication failed.
The culprit may be:
Urinary tract infection
Kidney disease
Increased water consumption
Another medical condition
Missed doses
In other words, don’t throw the medication under the bus before checking whether someone punctured the fuel tank.
Before Incurin: The History of Dog Incontinence Treatment
Veterinary medicine used to have fewer options.
For years, veterinarians often relied on:
Diethylstilbestrol (DES)
An older synthetic estrogen.
It worked.
The problem?
It carried potentially serious risks, including bone marrow suppression.
That’s the sort of side effect that tends to ruin everyone’s day.
Phenylpropanolamine (PPA)
Later came medications like Proin.
Instead of working through estrogen, they tightened the urinary sphincter through a different pathway.
Incurin
Incurin represented an evolution in treatment.
The goal was to provide an estrogen approach with shorter receptor activity and a dedicated veterinary formulation.
In other words:
Not a revolutionary reinvention.
More like refining a recipe and removing some of the ingredients most likely to burn the kitchen down.
Pros & Cons
✅ Pros
FDA-approved veterinary medication
Strong clinical evidence
Specifically designed for spayed female dogs
Often works quickly
Long history of veterinary use
Can dramatically improve quality of life
Generally well tolerated
Allows many dogs to remain dry long-term
❌ Cons
Prescription required
Not effective for every cause of incontinence
Some dogs experience appetite loss or vomiting
Estrogen-related side effects remain possible
Requires monitoring
Doesn’t solve infections, stones, neurological disease, or other unrelated causes of leakage
Final Verdict
Incurin is one of those rare products that earns praise from researchers, veterinarians, and owners at the same time.
That’s harder than it sounds.
Most products manage to disappoint at least one of those groups.
Incurin isn’t perfect.
It won’t fix every leaking dog.
It isn’t risk-free.
And it absolutely requires proper veterinary diagnosis.
But when used for the condition it was designed to treat, the evidence says it works.
The owner experiences say it works.
The veterinary community says it works.
And most importantly, countless carpets, couches, dog beds, and mattresses have remained suspiciously dry because it works.
Excellent Crap for Pet Owners Who Are Tired of Living in a Fur Tornado
🧹 Overview — The Crap at a Glance
The Shark Stratos AZ3002 is a heavy‑duty, corded upright vacuum designed for homes with pets, carpets, and constant mess. It’s built around Shark’s DuoClean PowerFins HairPro nozzle, Powered Lift‑Away pod, sealed HEPA filtration, and a twin‑roller system that excels on hard floors and normal carpet.
From the background report:
“Its strongest substantiated advantages are hard-floor pickup, ordinary carpet cleaning, usable suction, sealed filtration, steering, and the flexibility of Powered Lift-Away.”
This is excellent crap — the kind that changes your quality of life when you live with pets, allergies, and more hair than any human should legally have to deal with.
🧑🔧 Overall Impression
This vacuum sucks — in a good way. It’s powerful, thorough, and genuinely effective for pet owners. If you’ve got multiple dogs, shedding seasons, allergies, or carpets that trap everything, this machine earns its keep.
It’s heavy, yes. It’s bulky, yes. But it’s also five‑dog‑owner certified and capable of pulling dirt out of carpet you didn’t even know existed.
🔬 Performance — What This Crap Can Actually Do
Hard Floors
Outstanding performance.
“Modern Castle measured 99.5% debris removal on hardwood…”
Fine dust, cereal, rice, sugar — it eats everything.
Low- and Medium-Pile Carpet
Also excellent.
“99.0% on low-pile carpet and 98.3% on high-pile carpet…”
Your carpets will feel clean, not just look clean.
High-Pile Carpet
Good, but not perfect.
“TechGearLab’s heavier test recovered 52% of debris on high pile versus 97% on low pile…”
Deep shag is always a challenge for uprights.
Pet Hair
This is where real-world experience matters.
The HairPro system works great for ordinary pet hair, especially short hair. But long hair — human or golden retriever — can overwhelm the roller.
From the report:
“Hair accumulated around the soft-roller tines and a wheel… long extensions wrapped around the roller.”
In your real-world use:
Short hair = almost no wrap
Long hair = needs cleaning every 1–2 uses
Golden retriever hair = clean halfway through the job
This is normal for the design and worth knowing before buying.
Suction
This thing pulls like a shop vac.
“Vacuum Wars measured 104 inches of suction and 100 cfm airflow…”
That’s significantly above average for uprights.
Filtration
Excellent sealed HEPA performance.
“Modern Castle’s fog test showed no visible leakage… TechGearLab rated filtration 9.5/10.”
For pet allergies, this matters more than suction alone.
🧼 Design & Build — The Crap Under the Hood
Twin-Roller DuoClean Nozzle
Front soft roller + rear PowerFins roller.
Great for:
fine dust
large debris
pet hair
hard floors
normal carpet
Not great for:
deep shag
compressed long hair
debris trapped behind the soft roller
Powered Lift-Away
One of the best features.
“Substantially more versatile than a fixed upright.”
Use it under furniture, on stairs, for upholstery, or overhead.
Weight
It’s heavy — around 17 pounds, not the 12.5 lb Shark claims.
“Independently tested units at about 17 pounds…”
But that weight comes with power.
Noise
Mid‑70s dB. Loud, but not obnoxious.
Maintenance
This vacuum needs regular care to stay at peak performance.
From the report:
“Dirty filters and hidden clogs are common explanations; performance often recovers after cleaning the air path.”
Your real-world routine:
Soft roller cleaning every 2 uses
Extra cleaning after long-haired visitors
Filter maintenance monthly
Full air-path check occasionally
This is normal for a high-performance upright.
👍 What’s Good — Polished Turd Qualities
Exceptional hard-floor cleaning
Strong carpet performance
Great pet-hair pickup under normal conditions
Sealed HEPA filtration for allergies
Powered Lift-Away versatility
High suction and airflow
Good steering despite weight
Replaceable major assemblies
This is the kind of crap that makes your home feel cleaner instantly.
👎 What Sucks — The Steaming Bits
Heavy (17 lbs)
Bulky nozzle
Long hair can clog the roller
No brushroll-off mode
No height adjustment
Primary roller not owner-removable
Internal repairs are limited
Odor cartridge is optional but polarizing
None of these are deal-breakers — just realities of a powerful upright.
🐾 Pet Owner Reality Check
If you have:
multiple dogs
long-haired breeds
allergies
carpet
constant shedding
This vacuum is a game changer.
Your lived experience:
Five dogs
Pet allergies
Daily fur storms
Carpets that need real agitation
Long hair that requires roller cleaning
This vacuum handles all of it — with maintenance.
💰 Value of the Crap
The Shark Stratos AZ3002 is one of the strongest corded uprights for mixed flooring and pet-heavy homes. It’s not lightweight, and it’s not maintenance-free, but its cleaning performance is top-tier.
From the report:
“A strong choice if cleaning performance matters more than low weight.”
If you want a vacuum that actually deep cleans, this is excellent crap worth owning.
💩 Poop Score: 1 Poop — Excellent Crap
Why: The Shark Stratos AZ3002 delivers outstanding cleaning performance, sealed HEPA filtration, strong suction, and real pet-hair capability. Its only “crappy” traits are weight, roller maintenance, and limited internal repairability — but everything else is top-tier.
This is excellent crap — the kind that makes living with pets easier.
